destiny sauté

A Song of Ice and Fire (spoilers, maybe)

2011-05-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

Around the time the Lord of the Rings movies came out I got a hankering to read the books again, but elected not to because I didn't want to look like the wanker who's reading something because of the movie so they can feel superior to their philistine moving-picture-bound friends. I came across a similar dilemma when the new HBO series, "A Game of Thrones" came out. I hadn't read the books, mostly because up until now I haven't read a huge amount of epic fantasy. But I guess the Dresden Files series was some kind of gateway drug, because here I am neck deep in the series with the next several books lined up at the library. Anyway, the dilemma - do I read the books and risk looking like a wanker or not? Then I realized I'm past the point in my life where I give a fuck whether something I know I'm going to enjoy is trendy or not. If all the scarf-wearing hipster morons started playing D&D, would I stop playing? No, I would not. But I think that pursuit is safe for now, the nerd stigma far outweighing any ironic appeal they could bludgeon out of it.

Right, books. I like them. Of course I would like them, there's dragons and kids with wild animals for pets. I'm very easy to please when something presents me with dragons. But I should probably give a slightly more thought out reason for my opinion than "OMIGOD, DRAGONS!". The narrative is paced well in general, though I'll admit sometimes I get annoyed when the book switches characters on me just as I was really getting into the storyline I was reading. Its a small complaint, and I know Martin meant to structure it that way, but I'll admit sometimes when I get really invested in one of the character's story arcs I'll skip to the next section that features them. Yes yes, I'm cheating. But I always go back, and usually one of the next characters' stories hooks me so I get absorbed in what they're doing. Which is good, because one of the biggest pitfalls in a narrative that skips around like that is only having one or two characters who are actually interesting - then people like me start to breeze through whole sections without really paying attention because maybe something important is going to happen but HOLY HELL this guy is a plodding twit. But Martin's characters are on the whole very interesting and well-written, and their various arcs are compelling on their own as well as part of the over-arching plot. They're all very human, with their own motivations and reasons for acting the way they do, and even the ones that are painted as the villains have a certain pathos. Except perhaps for Jaime Lannister - mostly because he hasn't really been part of the story for a while. Really he only showed up for a hot minute to bone his sister and shove a little boy off a ledge, then got captured in battle and hasn't really been heard from since. Not very sympathetic.

I like Martin's writing style as well, its embellished enough to compliment the setting without being too overblown. I've heard fantasy mocked before because sometimes authors get lazy and all of a sudden everything is "gold as the setting sun", or "carved delicately from the crystalline remains of a thousand winterfey", and the names all have too many vowels and hyphens. But he manages to steer clear of that particular trap, mostly. Also, its an easy read. I don't mean its simplistic, but anyone who's stared at the same page in an Umberto Eco book for an hour can tell you that sometimes you just need a nice, accessible narrative.

So all in all, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. I've heard from a couple people that they lost interest in the series after the second book, but I don't think that's going to happen to me. There are some seriously dire events on the horizon, and I don't think I have enough of the second book left for them to actually unfold.

Oh, and the series is good too.

Better late than never: Final Fantasy XIII

2011-05-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

I wanted to wait to sum up my feelings on Final Fantasy XIII until I'd actually finished the game, but I've come to accept that that may never happen. As long as there are more interesting things to do (like play games that are actually good, get my eyebrows waxed, or bang my face against a concrete wall), Lightning and friends will probably forever be stuck just steps away from the climactic final boss. Seriously, when you stop playing right before the end of the story the game has completely lost you. I think I only got that far because at the time I didn't actually have anything better to do, and I felt some sort of sick obligation given my deep love for earlier entries into the series.

FFXIII received good reviews from many sources I'm familiar with, though mostly each was a different way of saying that Square Enix had "distilled the JRPG genre down to its essential form". In my opinion that's a positive way of saying they stripped all the interesting bits off of the genre's mouldering corpse and wrapped it up in snazzy new graphics - not something I generally give gold stars for. Oh wait, they didn't strip away all the interesting bits like exploration, complete freedom to pick and customize your party - you just have to play through the 30+ hour story first. In abstract I can see what the developers might have been thinking, since most people who play JRPGs do all the extra bosses and side missions and such before going to what should be a stirring and emotional final battle. But since they've done all those extra things the party is so powerful that you can kill the final boss by trotting up and swatting it firmly across the nose. Anti-climactic, but that's the nature of the beast. And hell, usually by the time I get to the final boss in one of these games I'm so impatient to see how the story ends that I don't mind an easy battle.

But moving all the fun extra stuff to "post-story play" might have worked if the story was interesting enough and the battle system was fun. Neither of these things are true, but I'll start with the story. It made about as much sense as a wizard hat on a giant turd, and about three hours in I was ready to stuff most of the characters into a sack and hurl it off a building. Lightning I would allow to live, mostly because she spends a good portion of the game being as annoyed with everyone as I was. Its as though Square knew they were creating a bunch of annoying twats, but it was all ok because you get to vicariously knock the crap out of one of them through Lightning. Some of them get less annoying later in the game (I'm looking at you, Hope) but by then the ship of my hatred had already sailed. Anyway, back to the story. You have your two cities who may or may not be at war with each other, giant god-things that were responsible for the well-being of all citizens and could inflict quests on mortals to serve their ends, but if the wrong god-thing gave you a quest you were branded a traitor and chased to the ends of the lands. And if you finish your quest you turn into crystal and sleep for a thousand years. Or something. Really, I stopped paying attention halfway through and just enjoyed the pretty cutscenes. Because for all its faults, FFXIII is a damn good-looking game. You might say that I can't remember what the story is about because its been a few months since I played, but I swear to you it really is that weird and confusing. Now I'm at the end and I know which god-thing I need to kill, which might destroy the world or it might not, but at that point I was just too tired to care.

And so I arrive at the battle system, which is what most people were referring to when they talked of distilling the RPG formula down to essentials. You only have two stats, Strength and Magic, and each character has a limited number of jobs they can do. The point is, or so the game assured me, is to find cunning combinations of the various jobs to beat the enemies most efficiently. All well and good in theory, but for the most part there is a limited set of job sets (called Paradigms) which are actually useful. Sure, you can use other Paradigms - if you want to get your face eaten off by the first wobbling lump of gelatin you come across. So the combat basically boils down to switching between the same five or six Paradigms and mashing the Auto-Attack button until you get thumb cramps. The attacks are another example of the "Sure, you CAN do it this way... if you want to lose" type of "freedom" FFXIII contains. You CAN pick your characters' attacks manually, but the combat is so fast paced that by the time you do so some brightly colored monstrosity has already kicked your balls in. One could argue that the Chain Stagger system adds strategy to the whole mess, but you are still just mashing the same button only it might help if you timed your mashings a bit. The only redeeming quality is the same as what got me through most of the story - its really pretty to watch. So even though all I was doing was jamming the same button down over and over at least I could watch Lightning and Fang flip around like the laws of gravity were merely a polite suggestion.

Around Chapter 11 (which is VERY late in the story), you finally get some freedom to wander around the landscape. But the game makes a not-so-subtle point of letting you know that you should not do that until you finish the story. Most of the monsters range from being inconveniently hard to downright impossible, and there are several areas of the map that are completely inaccessible until you... wait for it... finish the goddamn story. Because presumably at that point you will be high enough level to take them on. In fact, if you read the game guide it flat out tells you to just keep going and come back later. Well fuck you, I said and proceeded to get myself sliced up proper by a giant wolf-lizard. This only made me more determined so I doggedly searched for the right combination of preemptive strikes and weapon combinations until I handed its ass right back to it - and then repeated the process until I had enough experience to beat the next tier of inadvisable fights and so on until I got to the limit of the current skill tree. That's right, you can't fully upgrade your party until after the story is done, and by this time I felt like the developers were beating me about the head with the damn story so I gave in if only to make them shut up about it for a while. Of course, all my ill-advised free ranging had powered my party up a considerable amount so even though the following fights were probably supposed to be challenging, I was breezing through them with little more than a couple titty-twisters and a whack on the head. So if the developers were trying to avoid the super-powerful endgame party problem, I found a way around it anyway. Teach them to railroad me.

And shortly after that came the point where I stopped playing. I'm not sure exactly what distracted me away from FFXIII, but that doesn't matter because a ham sandwich could have done the job at that point. As I've said before, generally once I get this close to the end of a game, I'll stop all the piddling about on side missions and race to see how the thing ends. But here I saw the end in sight and all I could say was "Meh". I may go back and finish it, but only if there is absolutely nothing else to play. And the sad bit is the thing did so well with the critics that Square is probably going to decide this dumbing-down of the RPG battle system was a good idea and continue something like it down the line. Which would mean a permanent end to our relationship.

2011-04-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

I love sarcastic Hawke.

Fenris: *angst angst angst* Freedom tastes like ash. *angst*
Hawke: I always thought it tasted like chicken.
Fenris: Yes, joke. That's your answer to everything.

Pretty much.

DA2: A Revision

2011-04-05T14:10:00.001-07:00

I know I said earlier that I was playing the game on Hard because it seemed like more fun, but thanks to a game breaking bug I switched back to Normal. To save my friends who might be playing some pain and lost hours - be very careful if you get Isabela's friend meter up to the point where you get her "Thumbs up" bonus! If she is taken out of the party for some reason (like you entering your house), make sure to check your passive abilities. If the "Thumbs up" bonus is still there, your game is bugged. Every time you reload from that save (or any later save based on that one), the game will take that 5% attack speed away from Hawke's stats because Isabela isn't present. Permanently. I noticed this because I had to do a lot of reloading to get past some fights - and then there's the "Hey! I didn't want those friend/rival points! Better go back." situations. Eventually my dual weapon rogue was moving slower than an arthritic sloth and I had to go back to a previous save where I had just gotten Isabela's bonus. Seriously, when your tank with the gigantic hammer is moving faster than you... something is not right. Anyway, Bioware's working on a patch, but in the meantime since I've already tripped the bug I have to be really careful where I save and I can't afford to be dying and reloading. Sigh.

By the way, if you've already triggered the bug, just reload a save where Hawke's attack speed is pretty much normal and ALWAYS make sure to save the game outside during the day somewhere in Kirkwall (hightown, lowtown, docks, etc.) WITH Isabela in your party. From what I've gathered on the Intertubes, that should keep your stats from getting any worse. Don't reload autosaves, either. I love you, Bioware, but that's just annoying.

Dragon Age 2: The Gushening

2011-04-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

Dragon Age 2 has been out for almost a month, and I feel I have ingested enough of its delicate flavor to form a complete opinion of the game. Granted, it is an opinion slanted in the direction of total adoration, but really what can you expect? Its Bioware. I have flat-out never disliked any of their offerings. I loved the original KOTOR even though every half hour or so my character would be randomly transported into a wall on the other side of the map and I'd have to reload my last save. Let me tell you, the quicksave key was my very best friend throughout. Anyway, when I really like a game I tend to turn into a volcano of nerdy anecdotes, singeing friends and coworkers with small eruptions of glee. Eventually I sit down and write the inevitable Mt. St. Helen's of fangirl joy. That was not meant to sound dirty at all, I swear. So, anyone who isn't a gamer or is trying to avoid TEH SPOILERZ should probably back away slowly.

I'll start out by saying its not a perfect game. My theory is if Bioware got together with Bethesda and made an action RPG, that would be a perfect game. It would tear a whole in the space-time continuum with its awesomeness. Bethesda's amazingly beautiful and open environments are something everyone should take a lesson from. I joke about riding my pretend horse around the pretend world of Oblivion just enjoying the pretend scenery only because that is completely accurate. There wasn't much of that in DA2. In fact, as many players have already complained, most of the environments were recycled to the point of being boring. What do a dragon-infested mine and a hideout for slavers have in common? They apparently are both in the same cave, just on different points on the map. Seriously, I realize there will be recycled environments since the whole game takes place in one city over ten years, but only ONE stock cave? One lava-festooned evil lair? There were times on my first playthrough where I couldn't access a part of one cave, and I just thought it was something that would become accessible later as the years went by and someone cleared the way. No, it was because I was going to be in that exact same map later for some other quest on the other side of the world. Disappointing, but not a deal breaker for me.

That being said, I appreciate the efforts of integrate a new art style into the series. As much as I love Origins, it did kind of look like just another fantasy game. The Hanged Man is probably my favorite in-game tavern ever, and the statues in the Gallows really convey a sense of oppression. I even liked looking at the loading screens.

Alright, now the bad stuff is out of the way, its time for the gushing to begin. I've known for a long time that Bioware was doing a framed narrative for DA2, and that was one of the things I looked forward to most. Its a new way to tell a game's story, and it sounded so awesome I really hoped it worked out. I thought it did, but I might be in the minority there. I've read reviews that the story wasn't nearly as engaging as Origins', but I have to take exception to that. In Origins, the endgame was in sight pretty much from the beginning - defeat the giant evil dragon. There were some surprises along the way (some of them huge and epic), but there was always that goal in mind. With DA2, it was a little more fuzzy. There were these Qunari hanging out in the city for who knows what reason, and the mages and templars don't really like each other, but how the climax of each conflict was actually going to play out wasn't set in stone. Some people might not have liked that, but I really did. I found myself speculating on how things might play out, and some of my guesses were right. Most were wrong. And as much as I loved Origins, there wasn't a moment to compare to seeing one of your companions betray you completely and blow up a goddamn CHURCH to start a war. With materials that you helped him gather. It was heart-wrenching, even more so because he knew he was doing something monstrous and expected you to kill him for it. I couldn't - he was my friend and incidentally my only healer. Also, watching the sequences where Varric is telling the Chantry Seeker your story were awesome, especially on a second playthrough because you see the subtle clues that tell you what's going to happen next. Maybe not as grand and sweeping as vanquishing a Blight and crowning a new king of Ferelden (and, if you're me, marrying the guy and becoming queen), but the story was more personal. It was Hawke's story, which could be any number of things depending on how you play, and I loved that. I'm in the middle of my second playthrough right now, and I'm still fascinated.

Moving on from the story of Hawke to the character. My Bioware protagonists are always female, but I have two Hawkes running right now. There's the snarky but good hearted dual-weapon rogue, who is a mage sympathizer and a slavery hater but isn't above demanding coin for services rendered. And then there's my "evil" Hawke - a staunch templar supporter who keeps slaves and hates blood mages. Did I mention she IS a blood mage? So she basically runs around catching apostates and sending them to the Gallows, a poster child for might of the Templar order, all the while consorting with demons through her own blood. Dastardly. Seriously, she's almost painful to play she's such a duplicitous bitch. That's just an illustration of how different your main character can be - I could just as easily be playing a "good" Hawke who supports the templars just like my blood mage, but does it because she genuinely believes its right.

And, of course, there's your companion characters. Where to start? I usually have one or two NPCs that I'm not super excited about. In Origins it was Zevran, Mass Effect it was Ashley, KOTOR was Bastilla (I know, I know - but seriously, she only got interesting once she turned to the dark side). In DA2, its probably Sebastian. But he was a downloadable character - all the characters packaged with the original game were amazing. I thought Isabela the pirate was going to be just your tritely lecherous swashbuckler. Lecherous, yes. Trite, no. Her dialogue was some of the funniest I've ever heard. And Varric the dwarf... I never thought I could love another dwarf after Oghren, but apparently its possible. Here's just a snippet of his wonderfulness - this happens when goody-two-shoes Sebastian is asking for your help.

Me: Why is everyone looking at me?
Varric: Hawke said sarcastically.
Me: You know, I hate it when you do that.
Varric: Hawke muttered in an angry aside to the dwarf.

Varric rules.

I'm sure some people just surfing by the Bioware social site might think that DA2 is some kind of dating sim, because an astonishing amount of the discussion is about the in-game romances. Obviously, it wouldn't be a Bioware game without the ability to bang at least one or two of your party members. Its not required, but really. Show me a person who doesn't at LEAST have a roll in the hay with Isabela and I will show you someone who is partially dead inside. I mean, she shows up at your HOUSE for gods sakes. And yes, Adriel Hawke (the good one) swings both ways, and yes she banged the pirate. Seemed like a good idea at the time. But she goes with dudes for the long haul and ends up with Fenris the lyrium-branded escaped slave. That situation is just too angst-ridden to stay away from. Seriously, though, a dedicated person could probably sleep with half the party with some careful planning and a bit of prevarication. That sounds like something Lineth Hawke, the evil blood mage, might do. She destroys people's souls.

Going along with the romance angle, the new friendship system is pretty awesome. In Origins, either your characters loved you, or they hated your guts and might leave you. In DA2 there's an extra dimension with the addition of rivalry. If you make choices that a character disagrees with, their opinion moves further down the rivalry path but it doesn't necessarily mean they hate you. For you are Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall! So they still respect you, but they're a little more antagonistic when you talk to them. As a for-instance, there's Adriel Hawke's relationship with Fenris - she helps mages get out of the Gallows every chance she gets, and that drives him crazy. In game terms, I pretty much had him locked into permanent rivalry by the end of Act 1. He's constantly warning her that one of these days a mage is going to prove to her that not all of them deserve freedom. Which incidentally does happen but luckily he doesn't get all "I told you so" about it. However, he respects her for helping him escape his former master (who was a mage, which explains his extreme hatred for the whole magic thing), and even though he's a little snippy in conversation he gets really protective of her towards the middle of the game. Lineth Hawke is friends with Fenris, what with her anti-mage stance on everything. I gave Fenris the same gift (a book) with both characters and the dialogue was radically different. In both cases he tells you he was never taught to read, and you can offer to teach him. For the friend, he is grateful and says that maybe its time he learned. For the rival, he gets defensive and exclaims he doesn't need your charity, then backpedals and apologizes for overreacting. The rivalry idea was a pretty ingenious addition I thought, and honestly I've found some of those relationships to be more interesting than the friendships.

Although I could never be rivals with Varric. He and I agree on everything. And he likes to tell stories about me. Even he and Lineth Hawke are friends, weirdly.

I suppose I should talk about the combat a little bit as well, because Bioware did promise more exciting combat. I know there's probably some people out there that think they dumbed the series down for consoles - I am not one of them. The combat in Origins was fun, but it didn't look or feel very dynamic. The combat in DA2 feels more or less like the result of injecting the action RPG formula with some God of War stem cells while it was still developing. Which I think is awesome. And for the tactical purists out there, there is Nightmare mode. I played my first game in Normal mode, mostly. I admit I switched to Casual towards the end because I seriously needed to see how things worked out and combat had become a hindrance to that end. In Normal mode, you don't really have to pay attention to what your party's doing if they have a halfway decent set of tactics - the pre-arranged set of commands you can configure for each of your companions - and you can just wade through hordes of enemies with Hawke. My second game with Adriel the rogue I am playing on Hard, with one brief switch back to Normal. Hard mode definitely requires more than just your preset tactics for each character; I've found myself using the pause-and-play strategy that was so popular in Origins in almost every battle. My brief switch back to Normal mode was the Ancient Rock Wraith. Anyone who's played the game knows what I'm talking about - that thing is goddamn RIDICULOUS. Even in Normal mode I used almost all of my health potions and was down to my healer at the end there. It was a close battle. The people who can play on Nightmare have my respect. I know where my limits are, and Nightmare mode probably would cause me to throw my controller at the TV. But Hard is a good challenge for me, and now that I kind of know what's going to happen next I don't feel the need to rush and lower the difficulty.

Alright, I think I'm done now. Now, if you haven't played the game go out and buy it for fuck's sakes. I need someone to nerd out with.

damn I'm pale

2010-07-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

So I arrived in Sacramento earlier today, and I just have one thing to say - Holy Sweet Fuck its HOT. Its take-5-cold-showers a day hot to me, having lived these last cycles in the Northwest. Everybody else seems to be dealing with it just fine, and they also probably have over twice the amount of Vitamin D in their system as me. Not everyone is tanned, but I think I'm the whitest cracker in the zip code.

Now, off to sushi and Spamalot! I'm so wearing flip flops to the theater... the High Heels of Doom are just going to have to stay in the suitcase.

Pop music will turn me into a murderer yet

2010-07-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

I swear to all the deities above, if I have to hear that goddamn Katy Perry "California Gurls" song one more time, I will seriously loose my shit. Her voice makes me want to claw the ears from my head. Actually, pretty much everything that's on the pop stations right now is slowly turning me into Jack the Ripper. Why, you ask, do I even know what's on the popular radio these days? Well, when you work for a corporate food joint, there are certain things you have to deal with - terrible music being one of many.

There are so many things to hate about this song - first, that its already been done better by the Beach Boys. It must be said that not everyone in California walks around in Daisy Dukes and bikini tops, but that should be obvious. The phrase "West Coast represent" makes me die a little inside every time I hear it. I haven't counted, but I'm pretty sure there are only 15 words in the entire song. Inserting "Oh-0h-oh-OH" every few seconds doesn't count as being lyrical, children. And finally, I realize putting dong references into one's music is more prevalent than it should be, but "We'll melt your Popsicle"? That is just confusing. I'm pretty sure there aren't too many dudes out there who would like to have their popsicles melted. Tweaked, rubbed, tugged, and stroked perhaps - melted, not so much. As far as not-so-covert wiener jokes go, I have to hand the prize to Lady Gaga. "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" is so ill-advised its just hilarious.

Let's try this again, shall we?

2010-07-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

I guess I stopped writing things on this blahg because I thought I didn't have anything interesting to say that anyone would really want to read. Whether that is true or not, I realized something the other day as I was idly going through old entries - First, I am incredibly cocky when no one can physically see me (really, its a good thing I had a fairly good upbringing, or I would be a terrifying forum troll), and Second, that I like reading about the things that were important to me four years ago. And since I can't arse myself to keep a journal in real life, I guess I'm going to have to starting the blahging back up again so when I'm 35 I can look back and see how silly I was. And if anyone gets entertained along the way, that's awesomepants.

Also, I've been trying for a couple months now to force myself to start writing again... stupid adult world and its stupid demands on my time. But who am I kidding? I work in an industry where I can pull in an ok living working 25 hours a week. Laziness, you are a relentless and seductive mistress.

Anyways, since I just used most of the time I was going to spend writing wacky and entertaining anecdotes talking to my mom and brother, I think I'll just end this with a list I've been working on when I'm bored at work. Ever since Marvel and Disney joined forces, I've been hoping they will eventually come out with a fighting game because that would be hilarious. So here's a bunch of Marvel vs. Disney fights I think need to happen.

Jafar vs. Dr. Strange
The Wasp vs. The Little Mermaid
Ursula vs. The Scarlet Witch
Tarzan vs. Beast (Hank McCoy)
Donald Duck vs. Dr. Doom
King Triton vs. Thor
Millificent vs. Magneto
Monstro the Whale vs. Captain America
Princess Jasmine vs. The Dazzler
Scar vs. Wolverine
The Genie vs. The Incredible Hulk

I could do this all day.

ah, the pestilence

2009-07-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

I don't particularly remember being around anyone who was sick, but I've got some kind of summer cold. Which is odd, I've never really gotten sick in the summer before. And this bug has involved much more sneezing than I'm used to. Maybe I have the swine flu.

Anyhow, whenever I get a fever I tend to revert back to my childhood movie tastes and end up on the couch watching kids movies. Last night it was Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, and The Golden Compass. Today I realized I have a bunch of Avatar on my Netflix insta-watch thing, so that's probably in my future this afternoon. Something about my head being filled with fluid just makes me juvenile.

Sadly, though, when you have work you do from home, there's no excuse to not do it if you're sick. Darn.

The Rage: Random Idiot Edition

2009-06-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

Two things are on the old brain today as being idiotic and annoying, and since I prefer to speak of my own personal problems first I'll start with the story about how I came across what had to be the world's most ineffectual traffic cop. There's a lot of construction near the stadiums right now, mostly because Seattle has finally realized that we're a biggish city now and not a commune full of unwashed, sock-and-sandal wearing REI zombies. And as such we need more transit than a woefully forlorn bus system, so they're putting in a light rail system. So far the only place it goes is the airport. That being said, a lot of random streets are getting closed near there, which has been a source of frustration for me. However, usually the road closures are clearly marked with roadblocks, cones, blinking lights, etc.

Anyhow, driving home last night I started down a road that I had taken just that morning to get to the freeway. Somewhere in that time, I guess they closed the road. Because when I tried to take it, I was stopped by a previously invisible traffic cop dragging a "Street Closed" sign off the sidewalk she'd left it on and with a seriously irate expression. First of all, yeah I admit I didn't see the sign. That was my bad. But it was practically on the sidewalk, in my own defense, and the lane I was aiming for was completely open. There were no cones, no flags, not even one of those hazard lights they normally attach to those signs. The sign itself wasn't even in a position it could be readily seen, such as in the fucking street its supposed to be blocking. Did the city cone budget fall through or something? Or did she actually think she was doing an adequate job of warning people of a street closure? So there I was, trying to figure out what to do from there. I could A) try to go around her and turn around in the nearby parking lot or B) back into the intersection to turn around. They both were inadvisable, but I opted for the latter since the streets were relatively deserted. The whole thirty seconds or so I was trying to decide this, of course she's yelling at me to move, I'm yelling back that I'm working on it, but there was no way I was opening the window so neither of us could hear each other. Ended up I turned around, almost got lost in the International District, and had to take the long way home. Believe me, I don't like driving on the best of days, so I was livid. I had to admit to myself that I didn't see the sign, but even with some sleep and thought between myself and the Rage I will still maintain that closing a street without proper signage and whatnot to warn motorists about it is a hazard, and a stupid one. Well, there's that. Onward and upward.

So I guess M. Night Shyamalan is directing the movie version of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I've always meant to check that series out, since people whom I respect have told me its good. But now I'm fervently thankful it doesn't hold a special place in my heart because now I don't have to collapse in a fit of sorrow. I loved The Sixth Sense, which made it that much more bitter to watch my faith in Shymalan die a slow and terrible death. Lets watch the cancer spread, shall we?

First you had Unbreakable, an ok film. Not as good as his previous work, but not bad. Oh look, there's a twist at the end. That's nothing new - hmmm, I wonder if that's all he does?

Then there was Signs. Also not terrible, but lurking somewhere between passable and a waste of time. The "twist" at the end left a bad taste in my mouth and I wondered if they were going to get even more silly from there.

And along comes The Village, a pile of fetid horribleness so bad I nearly went to the counter to demand my money back. Right about the middle of the movie, I thought to myself that it would really suck if there were no real monsters all along, but somebody was making everyone think there was for some reason. I didn't guess the entire reason behind it, but I was close. My faith was broken at that point.

The Lady in the Water did nothing to change that. The trailers alone looked fucking terrible, and there was no way I was going to feed this man's vanity any more.

Most recently, we have The Happening, where there seemed to be a glimmer of hope. It looked scary - maybe he was trying to recapture the creepiness of his first and only brilliant film? It beckoned to me like Lucy's football to Charlie Brown. I sort of knew what was going to happen, but what if this was the magical moment where his foot would connect with the football of movie greatness? (Holy Mixed Metaphor, Batman! I couldn't help myself.) But then a friend of mine played the sacrificial lamb in this instance and reported to me that all hope was lost, it was just as bad as we feared. And so now whenever I see ole' Shammy's name attached to anything I cringe and move on.

So, even though the trailer for The Last Airbender looks pretty cool, and I've wanted to get into the series for a while, I'm going to stay the hell away from the live action version. I've read some of the fan conversation, and there seems to be some rage going on about all the actors cast being white. Granted, I've only seen about half of one episode, but they all look white to me. But that weird kind of Caucasian that comes from long years of Western animators trying to capture the magic of anime in their drawing. I just want to take them aside and remind them all they're missing the bigger picture. It says his frikkin' NAME right above the movie title. He will take this thing you love and mutilate it. I wouldn't be surprised if we suddenly find out at the end that Prince Zuko was secretly working with the Crab People the whole time.

taking care of #1

2009-05-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

I made a hard decision this week, but ultimately one that I think will make me much happier in the long run. I've decided to train with a different capoeira group instead of the one I've been with for over a year and a half. It was tough, because I like my instructor and the people in the group, but I just felt like I'd stopped progressing and maybe a change was needed.

This wasn't helped by the extreme pathological guilt I feel whenever I perceive that I've let someone down in some way. I've had more than one therapist tell me that I have an Oldest Child mentality coupled with a People Pleaser personality type, which is an annoying combination to have, I can tell you. Of course, it makes me an excellent worker and such, but its caused me to stay in situations that were not to my best interests because I felt guilty about leaving. That's why I stayed at the Central for so long, sliding ever more into the deep hole of alcoholism that most everyone seems to fall into there. And that's why it took me so long (I've been pondering this for months) to decide to change capoeira groups. There aren't too many advanced students in the class right now - not that I'm all that advanced, but I felt guilty about that. And I felt guilty that my instructor might think I'm abandoning him. But in the end, I had to put that all aside and decide what was going to make me happy. This might sound weird to all you non-crazy folk out there, but that was a hard thing for me to do.

But I finally did, and I went to my first class with the new group this morning. It was awesome. The lady who teaches is so good, and they have class in the morning. Huge. I haven't felt this satisfied with a class in a long time - I felt like I actually learned some new things. Anyways, the moral of this story is hopefully the next time I need to pull myself out of a conundrum like this, it won't take me so damn long.

Fantasia!

2009-05-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

So I was bored on the bus today, and I was fantasizing about winning the lottery. Its funny how that only happens to us in our adult life - when I was a kid I just fantasized about having a gajillion kittens and a waterbed. But I guess its not so funny because when you're a kid you don't realize how much fucking work people go through to make money. Money is something that, if you're lucky and your parents aren't fighting that month, comes naturally with this thing called an allowance.

Anyhoodle, so after I ran the gamut of paying off the parents' mortgages, hiring my grandmas their own personal servants, and buying Josh a hybrid truck that still makes giant revving noises but is still somehow fuel efficient, I thought of something. HOLY SHIT, I thought, I could get all the tattoos I've ever wanted. Which led me to the inevitable conclusion that, had I as much money as I could spend, I would be fucking COVERED in tattoos. Because there are so many that I want, but no money to spend on them. And they're all nerdy. Here's a few.

Lower Back
If I must have a lower back tattoo, I want it to be as far from a tramp stamp as I can make it. So I'm going to get Dante (from Devil May Cry) right there on my lower back, sitting on a couch with his hair in his eyes and his sword resting on the floor. Oh yes, the twin guns Ebony and Ivory will be incorporated.

The back of the calves
I don't even know if I spelled that body part right, but its the back portions of my lower legs. I'd get Alucard and Paladin Anderson from Hellsing facing off. When I'm standing with my legs together, it would look like HAVOC was about to be wreaked.

Right Arm Forearm Halfsleeve
I already have a Kingdom Hearts tattoo there, I'd just make it into a half-sleeve. I'd incorporate Jiminy Cricket (Because I completed his journal in KH2), Sephiroth (because I beat his ass), and the Ultima Keyblade (because, yes, I got that too). I am amazing.

Shoulder
I already have Morpheus, the king of Dreams on one shoulder, I've been meaning to get his sister, Death on the other. Just to even things out.

Scalp
Vampire Hunter D. Just to know he was there.

Chest
Star Trek insignia, right where it is on the uniform. I'd go with the Sciences, because that's always been more interesting than Command.

I'm sure that's not all... I can come up with more. But the point is, if I ever win the lottery, I would be a giant tattooed FREAK.

Star Trek - post viewing impressions

2009-05-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

The following will contain SPOILERZ. Cover your virgin eyes if you must.

Well, before I saw this movie I vocalized my extreme trepidation about it. With good reason, seeing as I've loved Star Trek since I was a wee lass. Spock was one of my first fantasy crushes, along with Luke Skywalker and Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty. I tried (stupid school system doesn't let you write reports on fictional cultures) to do my ninth grade research report on Vulcan culture. And not only do I own an original series blue mini-skirt uniform, but it is hand made, mostly by my brother though. I lack patience. Anyway, the point is that I am a giant nerd who loves Star Trek. And after I saw Cloverfield, I was worried. Between that movie and Lost after the first season, J.J. Abrams is not my favorite person.

But, on the other hand, those last two Next Generation movies were really scraping the bottom of the barrel, so really there was nowhere to go but up. Especially Insurrection - that was a terrible film.

Moving right along, after seeing the new Star Trek for the first time on Imax, I realized that it was not bad at all. Actually, I thought it was quite good. Imagine my relief! The dialogue was great, for one thing. The characters were mostly treated with reverence. And there was lots of exploding. I thought I'd list a few of my specific impressions of the movie, though.

1. The casting was weird, but awesome. Winona Ryder as Spock's mom? Not something I would have picked, but it worked. Harold of Harold and Kumar played Sulu very well, another unexpected choice. And Simon Pegg as Scotty - not what I would have chosen, but again it worked. And the icing on the cake was Zachary Quinto. The man looks so much like a young Nimoy its downright eerie. Oh right, and since I'm a girl I feel I should mention that Chris Pine has pretty eyes.

2. Speaking of Chris Pine... I think a hefty percentage of the movie was James Kirk getting the shit kicked out of him. I don't think there was a single scene where he didn't have at least one cut or bruise on his face. Too bad they didn't bring back "Kirk's fighting shirt" from the original series, the one that's always torn in the same place during a fight because the budget was too small for multiple shirts.

3. I don't care if this is a parallel universe, there's no way Spock would make out with his lady friend in front of a bunch of people. The Uhura thing was weird, and just seemed out of place to me, but if they'd left it at her kissing him in the elevator I could have accepted it. But not in front of four people on the transporter pad.

4. Leonard Nimoy is AWESOME.

5. And finally, thank you Mr. Abrams for maintaining one of my most favorite Star Trek themes - made-up pseudoscience. What the eff is red matter, anyway? Who cares! It makes black holes and advances the plot. Hurray!
But, speaking of pseudoscience, there is actually a book called "The Physics of Star Trek" that's pretty interesting. It sort of theorizes how warp drive might (very small might) be possible one day, and for that it wins my undying love.

What the eff?

2009-04-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

One of the critics on Rotten Tomatoes says that the Star Trek movie is "Star Trek designed for people who don't actually like Star Trek." Oooo-kay. I don't think I have to say much here, beyond if you don't like Star Trek, what the sweet bleeding fuck are you doing going to see it? And also, Star Trek has always been one of those things I felt was protected from all those douchey ironic hipsters that seem to take over things that I like and make them somehow douchey and unappealing, like The Shins and funny T-shirts. Star Trek was always safe from them, with its bright colors and optimistic outlook on the future. But now I guess since J.J. Abrams has gotten his dirty little mitts on it, it'll be fair game. Words cannot express my horror. I'm just imagining walking down the street and suddenly I'll overhear some human turd with his bangs hanging in his eyes talking about how he thinks this new "reboot" of the series is so much better than it was originally, because now its all dirty and "realistic". It would be the first time King County has tried a murder case where the deadly weapon was a Klingon Dictionary.

That being said, I think Sylar was a great choice for Spock, and the fact that Leonard Nimoy's been involved in the film from the beginning gives me a little hope. It was disappointing the hear about the whole time-travel aspect, though. Of all the things about the old series' to keep, why the annoying "travel to a parallel universe/back in time so we don't have to deal with those pesky continuity issues" plot escape? I ask you.

the honeymoon is over

2009-03-05T09:32:00.001-08:00

You know, when I voted for President Obama, I didn't exactly have stars in my eyes thinking that everything would be alright once our first black president took office. The world would not suddenly be filled with free kittens and money would not fall from the sky. Be that as it may, I have to admit some of this bailout spending that is being thrown about is bothering me.

Apparently there's some kind of mortgage rescue thingamajig he's proposed that would refinance homes for people who's mortgages have fallen through. That's all well and good... I'd rather have my tax money going to help actual citizens than huge companies that I don't give a rats hoo-ha about. Although I think lots of money is going to them, too, so perhaps my point is already moot. I don't know... I'm allergic to research.

Anyway, my problem is this - if I had know this was going to happen, I wouldn't have tried to be so damn responsible with my money all these years since I've been on my own. I rarely buy things I can't afford, and when I do its usually something crucial, like fixing my car or some such thing. If I had known the government was going to be handing out money to help people who've gotten in over their heads because they just couldn't say No to that lovely hot tub add on the teevee, I would have jumped in with the rest of the country. I totally would have signed on to a bad loan for a house I could never afford. Thanks, Mr. President, you've made me feel like an idiot for trying to be responsible.

But, hey, I don't hold a grudge, and I know how y'all can make it up to me. How about paying off my credit card? Its not a lot, but I'd really appreciate having only my student loan debt to take care of (because, you know, for some stupid reason I thought getting an education was more important than buying a condo), and I guarantee you it wouldn't but you out as much as buying some of those foreclosed mortgages would. Thanks.

Warning: contains high concentrations of negativity.

2009-01-24T14:36:00.000-08:00

This month has been a bit on the rough side, as I'm sure it has for everyone. What with all these huge companies laying off thousands of people, the banks going under, and the housing market being so bad its making me grateful that I've spent the last few years as a feckless slacker with no goals.

As most of of my friends know, I've been nursing a growing hatred for the industry I am currently trapped in. And I do mean trapped - my plan was to wait tables for a few months after college to get my student loan payments going, and now here it is four years later and I'm still doing the iced tea boogie for less hours a week than I need. And I really have no one to blame for it but myself - if I'd been a little more proactive these last few years I might have a job I wasn't embarrassed to admit to now. Anyways. Its not easy, let me tell you, to get out of the service industry into something else. I think of it like being trapped under a frozen lake with nothing but a plastic spoon to help you crack your way out. And the current job market is definitely not helping, since there are now lots of unemployed people who probably have lots more marketable skills than I do.

But then, I really can't complain since I actually do have a job, as deplorable as I might find it. I guess another reason I'm feeling sorry for myself is its January. This is pretty much the worst time of year to be a server - everyone's gotten their post-Christmas credit card bills, had their requisite heart attacks, and vowed never to go shopping again. Which is bad for me, since I work right in the middle of a retail district. Nothing brings a person down more than counting their tips for the week and realizing how close to poverty they really are.

Of course, things aren't really all that bad for me. Its just every once in a while I have to spew out all the vitriol that's built up so I can appreciate all the good things I have going on. For instance, I have a great boyfriend and all is pretty much well on the cohabitation front. We had a good Christmas, if it was somewhat snowed in, and its nice to be able to spend a little more time together now that there's no commute between apartments.

teh boooooozzzzzz

2009-01-15T19:51:00.000-08:00

Apparently if I move to Peru, I can't get fired for being drunk.

Where be the damn airport?

The Rage: Tech Support Edition

2008-11-21T14:18:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to vent about the general incompetence and stupidity of humanity for a second here. Especially regarding Clearwire and other broadband service providers. Because of moving into a blind spot, I had to cancel my Clearwire account. By the way, don't ever use their service. Its spotty and slow at the best of times. Canceling my account was the biggest pain in the ass I had to deal with in this move, closely followed by the Comcast installation debacle which I will get into later.

Clearwire uses a wireless modem that picks up on their satellite signal to give you access to the world wide web. There's something in my new building that blocks that signal, so I had to call customer service to see if the problem could be resolved. Three weeks, one visit from a technician, and six calls to "customer service" (hah.) later, the situation still isn't resolved. Here's a timeline.

Call #1
I move my modem from my old apartment to the new one, confident that my internet service is indeed portable. After all, that's what the nice people at Clearwire told me. After being plugged in, the modem completely fails to get service. After spending some time on hold with elevator music that keeps cutting out, a tech support guy walks me through the troubleshooting process. This entails trying the modem in every room of the apartment, including the bathroom and the outside porch, to see if it can get service anywhere. It can't. I'm annoyed. The tech concludes that the modem must have gone bad and sends me a new one. It will arrive the next day via UPS.

Call #2
I wake up early the next day and call Clearwire to track my modem. They tell me the UPS driver is already on route, and my window of time for waiting is 10am to 5pm. No, they can't give me a more specific window of time. I wait, afraid to take a shower or leave the apartment because everyone knows the UPS truck always comes during those five minutes you're unavailable. Finally the modem arrives, and I power it up with a crawling sense of forboding. It, too, completely fails to get a signal.

Call#3
I appraise the tech support people of the situation, and they decide finally that I'm probably in a blind spot. But there's no way to know for sure unless a tech comes out to my house and does basically the same thing I've just finished doing - plugging the modem into every outlet in every room to see if there's that ONE little sweet spot where I can get internets. The tech will come the next morning.

Tech Visit
This is the least frustrating part of the whole process, excepting the fact that it had to happen at all. To his credit, the technician showed up right on time. It takes him less than ten minutes to figure out that I can't get signal in my apartment, and he promises to note that in my account so I won't get charged any early termination fees when I call to cancel. He tells me to wait a couple hours for the notation to appear in the system before I call. I ask him what I should do with the two modems I now have in my possesion. He agrees to take the newer one, but says that I will have to ship the old one back myself. I grumble impotently about stupid red tape and bureaucracy.

Call #4
I tell the people I need to cancel my account. They see the notation on the account, and assure me that I will not have to pay the early termination fee. But the billing cycle has just started, so my account has already been charged for the next month. They assure me that the charge will be reversed as soon as they recieve the modem from me. Joy. I walk down the UPS store that day and ship the offending piece of machinery back to its masters.

Call#5
A week later, the charge is still lurking on my account, so back I go to the labyrinth that is the Clearwire phone system. By this time, I've memorized the choppy elevator music. A technician finally comes on the line and verifys my identity. I ask him if he can tell me whether or not they've recieved the modem yet, and when the charges to my account will be reversed. After a pause, he tells me the modem has been recieved, but that I am still liable for an early termination fee.
I pause. Count to ten.
Attempting half-successfully to keep the sheer fury out of my tone, I tell him that he is mistaken. I remind him that I had a technician come out to my house to verify my tragic lack of signal precisely to avoid paying a fee. Otherwise, I would not have had said tech out to my house at all. The man asks if I moved into the blindspot, implying that it was my own fault for moving somewhere their puny satellite could not reach. I ask him to verify his information, and he puts me on hold again. Several minutes, and half an aneurism later, he comes back on the line. He tells me my previous information is not wrong, and I don't have to pay the fee. Somehow, he managed to admit he was wrong without admitting outright that he was, indeed, wrong. I ask as politely as I can when I can expect to get my money back. He says it should take 2-5 business days, but since there is a holiday coming it could take a little longer.

Call #6
It has now been over twice five business days, so I call back to find out where the hell my money is at. I find out that the last tech I spoke to hadn't even put the request for a refund through yet, and now I have to wait ANOTHER 2-5 business days. I wish that I had gotten his name so I could file a vitriolic complaint. Also, at this point, I am angry enough that I would be pretty happy with your standard voodoo ritual, so I further wish I had some of the guys hair. Having none of these things, I am left to fume until next Wednesday when, presumably, I will have gotten my money back. If not, back I go to broadband hell.

I mean, seriously, who the hell hires these people?

2008-09-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I built a dresser, all by myself. I'm kinda proud of myself, especially since I had to scrounge around the communal basement for tools. On that note, I'd like to give a shout out to whoever left that fake Leatherman at the Saloon that one night. Thanks, dude - you are the reason I have an assembled dresser, instead of a pile of particle board on my floor.

Particle board is a little depressing, though, I must say. It looks like real wood from the front, but when one looks at it from the side one remembers their station in life. Oh well. I guess the way the economy is going I should be grateful for a particle board dresser. Pretty soon civilization is going to collapse and I'll be burning it for fuel.

everybody cross your fingers

2008-08-11T16:59:00.000-07:00

Today I applied for a job at Wizards of the Coast. I don't know exactly what my chances of even getting an interview are, but we shall see. I had to restrain myself in the cover letter from just saying "You should hire me because I am a huge nerd and I will serve you faithfully for the rest of my days!", because (really) how much would that rock?! I will be your janitor, people, just pay me enough so I can eat once in a while. No, in all seriousness, I've been thinking for a while that its time to get out of the ol' restaurant business before I become a misanthropic old hag.

When I first started in restaurants, I actually did care about people's dining experiences and wanted them to have a good time. I still do, to some extent. But over the years the overwhelming rudeness and stupidity of humanity wears on you to the point where you just don't care anymore and all you want to do is work on computers or some inanimate object that doesn't have free will and wheat allergies. So I'm branching out, and hopefully I won't have to settle for some boring data-entry job.

I was never very good at hiding my shame.

2008-08-04T14:14:00.000-07:00

I have a semi-horrible confession to make; I secretly kind of love Project Runway. I know its a terrible show, and just one in a long line of tired contest shows. I hear they have one on Bravo now about real estate agents. Really? Anyhoodle, I accept my shameful love for the flighty divas of Project Runway as an embarrassing necessity. One of my favorite activities is making fun of people's clothes, so an hour of eager designers trying to prove their worth to the soulless fashion masses is just too much candy for me to ignore. I know I've mentioned this before, but my life would be seriously lessened if there wasn't an American Apparel down the street for me to ogle and mock every day on the way to work. Sometimes I turn the show one while I'm brainstorming for stories I want to write, and I tell myself that its ok because I'm not actually watching it. Self-deception is a beautiful thing, right? Oh well, cat's out of the bag now.

The other dumb contest show I grudgingly admit to liking is Top Chef. I love food of all kinds, and I love to cook. I further love watching human train wrecks from a safe distance. So that's kind of perfect. I guess I'll just have to list these two things along with all the other embarrassing things I enjoy, like Evanescence and 10 Things I Hate About You.

ComiCon 2008

2008-07-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

So I've been in San Diego all weekend for ComiCon, and its been pretty awesome so far. Of course, as someone who doesn't really like large crowds of people, there have been some frustrating moments. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised at all if they moved the whole thing to a different city with a bigger convention center pretty soon. This year, there were no on-site sales for passes, you had to be pre-registered to get in. And the crowds were staggering... apparently being a nerd is starting to gain popularity. I really wish I hadn't been the dumb homeschooler who had no idea what went on in the outside world. I mean, seriously - my mom wouldn't let me buy comic books, so I read the SAME three Star Wars and Star Trek comics from the library until I practically had them memorized. I could have been in on this on the ground level, seeing as I've been a dork since as long as I've been alive. Oh well. Anyhoodle, there are a couple interesting things I've learned from this weekend that I thought I'd share.

First, I need to get a sewing machine. I love making my own clothes whenever I can, but that's mostly limited to tailoring T-shirts to fit me since I have to do it all by hand. Every time I looked around the last couple days I got costume envy. I know how to sew, I can do this shit if I really want. Just you watch, next Sakura-Con I'm going to show up as Abel Nightroad.

Second, just because its Southern California, it won't necessarily be sunny. Actually I knew that from living in Ventura during college, but I kind of forgot. I've been living up in Seattle so long I have this golden mental image of SoCal as this glorious land of sun and tans. In reality, its kind of muggy and I'm pretty sure its sunnier in Seattle right now.

Next, no matter how dorky and hardcore you are, there is ALWAYS someone dorkier than you who is willing to wait longer in a line for something. I hate lines, and there are few things I'm willing to camp in line for. Like roller coasters, or Neil Gaiman. I really wanted to go to the Watchmen movie panel, but I would have had to get in line at like 3 in the morning to get in. Thanks, I'll just wait to be surprised when the movie comes out. I'm pretty sure some of those fans would be willing to eat the people in front of them to get in. You think I'm joking? Fanboys are frightening. Didn't get into the Joss Whedon panel for the same reason. And J.M. Strasinski. I did, however, get to see Jim Butcher and he's a totally hilarious guy.

Also, wear good shoes. I wasn't wearing good shoes the first day, and my foot is just now starting to feel better after two days.

And lastly, never EVER eat or drink at the hotel bar. When Josh and I first got in town, we were hungry and tired. And I hate flying - I pretty much want a drink the second I get off a plane. It was ten at night and we didn't want to scour the town of San Diego for late dining, so we hit the lobby lounge. BIG MISTAKE. A Bloody Mary? $10. Well Vodka soda? $7.50. You heard me... $7.50 for a well drink. That's just retarded. We felt violated. So learn from our mistake - boycott the hotel bar.

The Dark Knight and other stories

2008-07-23T12:51:00.001-07:00

Holy crap what an awesome movie. Everyone in the world should see it. Twice. That's all I have to say about that.

Lately I've been getting back into one of my old favorite games - Final Fantasy X. I'm determined to beat all the minigames and get all the cool stuff this time around. I'm smarter now... there will be no 6 hour stint in the Omega Ruins only to be killed by a giant tortoise. I have learned from that experience. Anyways, even though I love the Final Fantasy series more than life itself, I still can't get behind some of the minigames they come up with. Blitzball - actually kind of fun, but gets boring after a while. But, dodging lightning bolts? REALLY?! 200 times?? You couldn't think of anything else? Geez. And chasing butterflies. Stupid fucking game, but like everything else I HAVE to play it to get the uber weapons. Square, you cruel and evil mistress.

I found out recently that Final Fantasy XIII is going to be coming to Xbox 360. With that and the Devil May Cry series switching over, I'm finding fewer and fewer reasons to save up for a PS3 other than that its just so damn pretty and I want it. Really, not the most practical reason. We shall see.

I want noodles.

the cutthroat world of shared laundry facilities

2008-05-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Its interesting the tiny little moral dilemmas I find myself in every so often. One of the reasons I love my apartment is that my roommates and I have our own washer and dryer in our unit. Unfortunately, the washer went belly up a few weeks ago, and I've been having to do laundry in the basement. I think the two ground level apartments share that unit, because every so often I come in to do my laundry right in the middle of someone else's wash cycle. That's really no big deal, I just wait until its done to stick my clothes in.

My moral quandary is this - today is laundry day. It must be so because I'm seriously running low on underwear. I think "dire straits" would be the appropriate term. Further, I had planned to go shoe shopping this afternoon and see Iron Man again, so I really need to have my laundry washed and safely in the dryer by 3 pm. But when I schlepped my clothes down to the basement, someone already had theirs right in the middle of the wash cycle. Sigh. There was also a hamper full of clothes next to the washer, so it was pretty obvious today was laundry day for someone else too. So I did the thing that made the most sense - I set my alarm for a time right before the washer would be done, booked it down there and put my laundry in before the other person could switch their loads. And an hour later, I did the same thing for the other load.
I wondered to myself as hurriedly stuffed my darks into the washer whether I was violating some unwritten law of washing machine queues. Is line-cutting something I should be worried about at this point in my life? I suppose I would have been annoyed had our situations been reversed, but I would probably have accepted it as part of being less on-the-ball than my laundry day adversary. Then again, I'm not from Seattle, where being passive-aggressive is practically the official sport. I wouldn't be surprised if my nameless opponent in the laundry war took my clothes out right in the middle of the cycle and left them on the top of the dryer with a snippy little note saying "Um, EXCUSE ME, but my clothes were here first." or something like that.

I'm not even kidding about the notes. My very first night in Seattle, after a three-day drive up from California, I misread a sign and mistook a bus zone for parking spaces and accidentally took up both parking spaces behind it. (It was dark, I was exhausted... honest mistake.) Apparently I offended someone to their very core because there was a snippy little note on my car the next day. Instead of saying something like "Please try not to take up two parking spaces, there's limited room on the street" or even "You're parked illegally - move your car or I will have to have it ticketed", it said "Thanks for taking up two parkings spots, asshole". It was like a fiesta of passive-aggressiveness right in the palm of my hand.

So on the off chance that whoever wrote that note comes across this page - it was a red VW hatchback on the west side of Roosevelt between 97th and 98th. Late August, 2006. I hope your display of superior douchebaggery helped you sleep better that night, because it colored my opinion of Seattleites for the next 8 months. Congrats, cockmonger.

Anyway, back to the laundry issue. My neighbors are all pretty nice, so I don't think there's a snotty note in my future. I just wonder if this slight feeling of guilt is due to some actual transgression or just my eldest-child people-pleasing tendencies rearing their head to torment me at the thought that I might have slightly inconvenienced someone. I'm gonna go with the latter - it is survival of the fittest in the wild as well as the laundry room. The waiting lion catches the wildebeest and all that. The vigilant tenant gets first dibs on the washer. I'm just glad our dryer still works.

the nerdiness is killing me

2008-04-13T00:13:00.000-07:00

So I've spent the better part of the last couple weeks playing Kingdom Hearts 2 - most people who see me often know this, as I'm constantly spouting statements about Keyblades and leveling up forms and whatnot. HOWEVER, I'm taking a moment from my regular schedule (ha) to let y'all in on the update.

I have beaten Sephiroth.

That's right. I beat him back in Final Fantasy VII, but this was different. It was payback time - I'd failed to beat him in the first Kingdom Hearts. But revenge was eventually mine, and I vanquished him by the failing light of this warm day to cries of joy. And choking on my own saliva. Seriously, I was that excited.

I'm seriously in love with this game - so much so that I've committed myself to finishing all the minigames. And my feelings on the frustrating qualities of minigames is well documented. By myself. But nevertheless. The last time I got this much into an RPG was Final Fantasy XII, more recently, and Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. My characters are level 99 now. Suck it, Heartless. I am THE UBER SHITZORRRS.

girls are annoying

2008-04-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

There's lots of things girls do that are annoying... I've already gone into detail about their compulsion to sprinkle the toilet seats with their pee because they won't let their lily-white asses touch the seat. But anyways.

Its a pretty well-known fact that a lot of girls turn a little bi-curious when they're drunk, which is the root of my complaint. All of a sudden its totally ok for them to start leering at other girls, commenting on their "attributes", and trying to grab a handful of mammary. Listen, stupid drunk girls (and the stupid sober bi-curious girls), it is still creepy when you do that. The fact you are a woman yourself doesn't suddenly make it acceptable, or cute, or even flattering. At least guys are a little subtle about it - they know they'll get the hairy eyeball for letting their gaze linger too long, so they wait until you've turned their back. That I can deal with.

Last week I had a girl actually request that I turn around so she could look at my ass some more. I mean, really? HOW IS THAT OK?? YOUR ESTROGEN DOES NOT MAKE THAT OK. NOW YOU'VE GONE AND MADE ME GET ALL SHOUTY.

So, all the rude bi-curious girls out there, take a cue from the guys. Grow some tact. Nurture the sneak peak. Seriously, it makes me want to hang out exclusively with gay dudes - and I've even got a few extra pounds on me. I'd hate to see what the ladies who are in better shape than me have to go through.

get a b1gger p3nis

2008-03-05T16:54:00.000-08:00

Y'know, I am constantly amazed at the amount of spam I have to delete from my email account every week. This is nothing new. However, I've noticed a disturbing trend for a while now. Used to be there was a little variety in the spam I'd receive every day. Pleas from disinherited Welsh princesses for money to get to America, entreaties on behalf of poor legless orphans in third world countries, promises of cheap Rolex watches that are totally not hot at all if you just fill out this easy form. But lately it is all about getting a bigger dong.

I understand that this is a booming market - there are millions of tragically gullible men out there that believe an epic wang will get them the chicks, and that upgrading their size is actually possible. Its kind of like those Hydroxycut ads; the ones that feature grossly airbrushed before and after photos and bikini-clad girls saying "I lost 50 lbs... FAST!" Fast, eh? Two days fast? Three weeks? You had your GI tract removed, didn't you? Anyways, as long as these epic wang emails don't start sneaking into my actual inbox, the whole thing is actually fairly amusing. The best part is the subject lines have become more and more creative to get past people's spam filters. Some of my favorites:

"Ravish her with your new, bulging equipment!"
"She'll want to play with it all day long."
"Amaze her, and keep her begging for more!"

And so on and so on. Also funny is how the spammers aren't even trying to use real names anymore, just randomly generated strings of letters. There's probably a Spammer Name Generator out there somewhere.

brains!

2008-03-02T02:05:00.000-08:00

I hate working back to back shifts... its no fun. I never get enough sleep because it is impossible for me to go to bed right after I get home. Ugly things happen. I think the last time I tried to go to sleep directly after work I had this dream. It was after last call and time to throw people out, lest the liquor board come and fine me. But the people wouldn't leave, and they just kept staring at me and chanting "Can't we get a quick shot" like it was a sutra or something with horrible vacant zombie-like expressions on their faces. AND THEN, every drink I pulled would rematerialize out of thin air on the bar, AND THEN zombie drunk people were coming in through the walls. My subconscious has many problems.

Anyway. I'm calming myself now by listening to "Still Alive", the song that is your reward for finishing Portal. Portal is included in the Orange Box from Valve. It is amazing. Unfortunately, the game is only about 6 hours long. Its really hard to describe... but it was sold to me as a FPS puzzle game. Weird, yes. Mind-shatteringly awesome, yes. I'm just going to include some of the lyrics from the ending song to give you all an idea of how awesomely hilarious the whole thing is. Well, its late. I'm going to sleep... hopefully no zombies wanting cosmos.

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are
still alive.

Voting is the new black.

2008-02-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

Yes, yet another tired fashion mantra. But instead of pink being the new black, or serial dismemberment, it is now going to a poll booth and casting your very own weight of opinion in the fate of our teetering country. I've never been interested in politics. Growing up in a one-issue household will do that to you. Yes, that one issue is abortion. My feelings on that particular topic have changed over the years; I'm not the most liberal person in the world, but I definitely think that we'd all be better off if the pro-lifers of the country would stop trying to overturn Roe v. Wade and start teaching their kids some sexual responsibility. Anyways. My parents voted for George W. Bush because of that one issue - twice - thinking he'd actually live up to his high-fa luting speeches about protecting the sanctity of life. Look where that's gotten us; thousands of U.S. Soldiers dead and even more injured, with a staggering number of those wounded veterans not receiving the care they deserve. And what has it gotten us? An economy on the verge of recession, a presidential office that is more a joke than anything else, and lots of dead people. I think most of us feel like the parents who come home to an ineffectual babysitter and ask each other "Who left this guy in charge?"

All I really remember from my dad watching the presidential debates over the years was a few stuffy old guys taking verbal pot-shots at each other. I lost interest real quick. When Bill Clinton was impeached, I supported it because my parents did. I don't know if that was best decision now... maybe he couldn't keep it in his pants, but at least he didn't leave us with a deficit so large I have trouble fitting the number in my brain. But anyway, I don't want to rehash old events that I know less about than most people, I'm just here to talk about my feelings.

When the 2008 election first started going, I was pretty jaded. I kind of felt that we deserved what was coming to us as a country. We voted a warmongering psychopath into office twice, and now our borders are in trouble and the value of our currency is falling. We're not a superpower anymore, we're a global joke. I felt that maybe we deserved to fall off the world stage, that it was time for America's golden age to end. Maybe then we, the people, would stop paying so much attention to American Idol and focus more on educating ourselves about the world around us. Maybe a little smackdown would do us good.

And then there was the presidential candidates. I barely paid attention to the Republicans - I know this sounds a little immature, but I thought their party dropped the ball in a bad way and now it was time to give the other guys a chance to fix it. John McCain seemed slightly less crazy than the rest of them, but he still seems to think there can be victory in Iraq - definitely a sign of a delusional mind in my opinion. But on the other side it seemed to be coming down to two candidates that looked entirely un-electable. Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. I don't have much faith in this country right now, and the thought that we'd elect either a woman or a black man to office seemed impossible. After all, neither of them are old rich white men. But I figured I'd vote for Senator Obama because at least he's not Republican, and Hilary Clinton seriously frightens me.

Anyways, last night I couldn't sleep so I turned on the Democratic debate on the TV, thinking it would put me right to sleep. Not so. All of a sudden I found myself actually listening to the things Mr. Obama had to say because they actually, (gasp), made a lot of sense. Not only that, he seemed less concerned with taking his opponent down a peg than he was about voicing his concerns about the people of this country. He seemed to have actual answers for the questions instead of a bunch of rhetoric. It was seriously weird - and eventually I had to turn it off or I was never going to go to sleep. This morning, I actually felt bad that I hadn't registered Democratic so I could support him in Washington's caucuses. I wouldn't say my hope is restored completely, maybe his shining boyish manner is just a front, and we've all been had and he really is serving his own agenda. But just the fact that he got my lazy, cynical ass to even care about voting speaks volumes in his favor. And its not just me - lots of people my age who probably didn't vote in the last election are getting involved because of Senator Obama. A lot of them are paying less attention to reality TV, and for that alone I'd vote for him.

Underwhelmed: The Movie Edition

2008-01-29T13:33:00.000-08:00

Its always nice when you wait for months and months for a movie to be released in the theater, and it actually lives up to the expectations you had for it. The Lord of the Rings movies were an example. Unfortunately, more often it turns out like the Star Wars prequels, a crushing and final dashing of your fragile hopes. Anyways, I've been meaning to talk about a couple such experiences for a couple weeks now, but I was still sorting out my feelings a little bit. And no, I'm not going to talk about Juno. This here is "Underwhelmed" and I don't care if Juno goes the way of Garden State and becomes the new poster child for annoying hipsters everywhere, I will always love it anyway. Its awesome. No, I find it is much more fun to talk about movies that I didn't like. Here we go.

Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Well, there have been worse casting choices for movies based on a musical; I'm looking at you, Minnie Driver in "The Phantom of the Opera". Oh hell, might as well give an honorable mention to Emmy Rossum, who went through the whole movie looking like she was staring out at an audience at Ye Olde Recital Hall, waiting to begin her rendition of "Midnight". I know that Tim Burton is married to Helena Bonham Carter and has this weird obsession with Johnny Depp, but I'm thinking now that he needs to branch out a little. Like to people who can actually sing - since he is directing a musical. Just a thought. I mean, visually the movie was great just like all Tim Burton's movies, but it was woefully lacking in the music department. Which is funny, since it all came packaged and ready to go, only lacking a couple actors who can sing. And while Johnny and Helena had sounds coming out of their mouths when they opened them, and the sounds were sort of song-ish, I don't think anyone could call what happened in that movie actual singing. Especially the song where Mr. Todd is singing to his razors. In the hands of someone with a stitch of talent and formal training it would have been a great soulful piece of work, and ironic since its a pretty song about killing people with your shiny friends of death. But it wasn't... it actually came out rather silly. Johnny Depp is hot, he is a talented actor (although I kept having flashes of Jack Sparrow and Inspector Abberline throughout the movie), but he's a crappy singer. Same for Helena Bonham Carter - great actress, quite pretty, can't sing. There was no vibrato, no change in timbre, and it kind of sounded like they had both fallen for the amateur's trap of singing completely out of the top half of their lungs. Might have been my imagination on that last one. But the point remains. Bad casting. Almost ruined the movie. I still have the poster up in my room because, like I said, the movie looked really cool, but that doesn't outweigh the disappointment. On a positive note, Alan Rickman was excellent (as usual) as the creepy judge and the body-dumping barber's chair was all kinds of nifty.

Cloverfield
You know, I really had a hard time picking out my feelings about this movie. First off, it gave me a splitting headache, which is not something I normally spend 10 bucks for. I walked out of the theater thinking "Well, that wasn't what I expected... owwww, my head." Which, thinking about it later, is pretty much exactly how I would describe the whole experience. I went into it thinking it was going to be "The great American Monster movie" or something, since that was how it had been talked up to be at Comic-con. There's a poster of the Statue of Liberty loosing its head. Surely there was going to be carnage and destruction! And there was, sort of. But there was a lot more following human characters around in their quest to escape from the tunnels. You only got one, maybe two, real good looks at the monster; it was mostly, as a couple critics have said, about observing how a group of people reacts to that kind of destruction. Oooo-kay. Not what I signed up for. But this is the guy who brought us Lost, a show which danced back and forth over the line between pure genius and overwrought crap so much that I eventually gave up on it. I really hope he doesn't screw up the Star Trek movie.
Anyway, my feelings about Cloverfield would be pretty benign if it wasn't for all the critics and crazy people going into ecstasies over it. Some critics say things like "If you don't toss your cookies, its an amazing thrill ride!" What? So I get to pay an inflated theater price to maybe loose my lunch. Other people are saying that is going to revolutionize the art of film. Great, so I have lots more movies to look forward to that will make me barf. Spectacular. You know what, people? It wasn't that good. It was OK. That's it. Stop turning it into this landmark of cinema; Gone with the Wind was a landmark. So was Star Wars and Snow White. Cloverfield is not a landmark. To quote an apt line from Zoolander, "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills or something!!"

I'm not dead...

2008-01-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

If I'd continued that, it would be a lyric from a Pink song. Yes, I listen to Pink, and I enjoy it. Take that, music hipsters! Anyways, the last few months I've been posting my various and sundry thoughts about things on my Myspace blog-thing, and I've sort of decided to abandon it. For one thing, I don't like Myspace. Its ugly and full of dumb blinky ads. Do I now, or have I ever, wanted to create my own (free!) Zwinky? No. I'm on it because it helps me keep track of my California friends. As Facebook does with my TAC friends. Has anyone noticed that Myspace is starting to look more and more like Facebook? Anyways. If anyone is interested in what I have to say, they can damn well come here and find me. Without notifications beckoning them to the latest mental vomit spewed forth from my cranium. (Woo! HYPERBOLE! I will ALWAYS love Dr. McLean for giving me my very own hyperbole.)

However, I don't think I'm going to be posting here as often as I used to. The main reason being that a great deal of my posts fell into the category of "Funny Food-Service Stories". Let me tell you how sick I am of those kinds of things. Very sick. I used to read a few food service blahgs, and I finally stopped because they just seemed so whiny and full of entitlement.

Feel for me, for I have to deal with difficult people all the time.
Worship me, for I SERVE the FOODZ.
Stand in awe, for I know things about alcohol.
Tip me, or I will eviscerate you on my blahg.

Gets a little old after a while. I understand that a blog is a place where one can let off steam about one's job. Although, lately, not so much since you might be fired for it. And maybe the reason I'm sick of it is because I'm in food service myself. But, seriously folks. You PICKED that job. You could be doing something else, but you're not. Why? Because lets all face it, servers can make buckets of money for less hours than regular salary-people. Sure, we all have to deal with people's shit, but everyone has to deal with a little shit in their line of work. Except rich people, and you notice they don't have blahgs. I guess what really made me sick of it is the constant sizing up of people's worth based on how much they tipped.

This guy tipped 11%, he must have a small penis.
This family tipped 15%, they must be too poor to do it RIGHT.
This woman tipped 9%, she must be jealous of my boobs.
This person tipped 20%, it should have been 30% because I am amazing.

Jeeez. Has it ever occurred to us that sometimes we get bad tips for bad service? I know I've given bad service in the past. Not deliberately, but it happens. But its not as though I should get the same amount of money just because I'm having a bad day. I've given bad tips before, and there's always been a damn good reason. I'm not saying that the only reason people tip badly is because the server deserved it, I'm saying that is should be considered.

Really what I'm getting at here is that I stopped reading food service blahgs because of these reasons. And they all started to blend together in a coagulated mass of discontent and vitriol. I'm not saying people should stop writing them, because that isn't my call. I'm just not reading them any more. And I'm not writing them anymore. It got old. So the frequency of posting is probably going to be diminished from the old days when I always had something to say about my customers. Now y'all are going to be subjected to my opinions on movies, local Seattle bands, anime, and (perish the thought) occasionally what I think about politics. Hurrr. That last one isn't going to happen too often.

anime in-jokes rock my FACE.

2007-07-06T13:37:00.001-07:00

I was a little frustrated with the latest episode of Bleach at first: damn thing JUST got out of filler and now I have to watch elementary school kids play soccer? Where are the monsters? Where's the Bankai? But then it turned out to feature Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro, who I think is just adorable. His voice actor also did the voice for Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, and hence the whole in joke thing.

There's this one part of the episode where someone calls Toshiro a midget and he starts yelling "Who are you calling a super-midget short person?!" or something like that. Which is a total throwback to every single episode of FMA... because there was always someone who would call Edward a shorty and he'd start yelling about how he's much bigger than a bean and who the hell is calling him a super midget anyway. And the animation would get all distorted and silly for a few seconds, and they it would all snap back to the serious we're-here-to-save-the-world type stuff.

Get it? hee! I am such a geek.

anime ramblings - its about that time again

2007-06-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since a new anime series has been able to catch my interest; which is not suprising since doing so is generally a multi-phasic process. First, I see a title that looks interesting on the fansub torrent sites. From there, I generally look up the series to see what its about, raise an eyebrow and decide to give it a miss. There's only so many shows about carefree middle school boys with girl problems I can watch. However, assuming I get past the subject matter stage, the first episode turns me off most of the time. Granted, lots of anime takes a few episodes to get into, but what mostly turns me off is the art.

I understand that there's a certain formula to drawing anime. Stylized eyes, big hair, exaggerated facial expressions, etc. However, there's a difference between loosely following a given formula and following it to the letter with no variations. There have been more than a few shows I might have actually liked except for the fact that the art just seemed lazy. Uninspired character designs are the kiss of death, is basically what I'm saying here. That was the case for Murder Princess - sounded so promising but was visually boring. Meh.

So I spent some time getting caught up on Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex... featuring one of my favorite female characters ever created, Major Kusanagi. I want to be her when I grow up. And then there's Bleach... now that they're done with the filler its been getting really good.

A couple weeks ago, though, I discovered Death Note. The premise is that a high school student finds a notebook that belongs to a Shinigami (a Death God). This particular Shinigami wrote some helpful instructions on the inside cover; basically, if you write a persons name in the book while their face is in your mind, they will die. You can specify the circumstances if you want, but if you don't they just die of a heart attack. So the boy decides to use the book to cleanse the world of evil people, but starts to become evil himself in the process. It is frikkin' fantastic. And the designs for the Shinigami are really good. The one that follows the main character around has wings, but he doesn't really fly. He just kind of floats along the ground in a slouchy kind of a way. It looks like if his wings stopped working for a second, he'd just crash into a pile. Has kind of a Joker-esque face. Its cool.

All that is nothing compared to my excitement over the Devil May Cry anime. Lets review... that would be two of my favorite things ever to exist combining forces. I think I may weep with joy. I really hope its good.

breaking the silence: Hangover Edition

2007-06-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

The most annoying thing about purple hair is its tendency to share the love with the things around it. Things like pillowcases, bath mats, and, most recently, the boyfriend. I'm sure he appreciated that. Much as I love it, I think its going back to black soon.

Days like this, I really don't like working at night. If I had a normal job, I would be almost done by now and looking forward to passing out on the couch with the promise of feeling blessedly normal when I wake up. Instead, I get to fart around the house all day, sunk deep in my usual post-bender self-recriminations, only to be required to get on a bus for work in about an hour. Blech, I say. In addition, I can look forward to enduring the usual customer inanity without my usual smart defenses; hangovers almost always reduce my mental acuity to that of a curling iron. I think I spelled everything right here, but you have no idea how much I'm using the backspace key.

That's pretty much all I have to say for myself. I think I just heard the mailman, which may or may not mean I can kill the last hour before work with Battlestar Galactica.

You're DONE: part the second

2007-05-22T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have to admit this... I love cutting people off. Not random people that don't deserve it, though. People who are actually drunk and shouldn't be served anyting more. Why is this? Because of a cardinal rule of bartending.

The customer is always right, until you're drunk and you're not a customer anymore.

Because then I can say whatever I want. Today's example:

ME: I think you've had about enough for now, hon.

DRUNKIE: WHAT?! I'm 51 years old, and I'm a Vietnam vet. You can't tell me what to do!

ME: Uh, yes I can. Because (motioning at the bar) I'm back here, and you're over there. And I say you've had enough to drink.

DRUNKIE: You have a fucked up attitude.

ME: More than likely.

DRUNKIE: Fine, there are plenty of other bars.

ME: Good luck with that.

ah... that felt good.

I am a code NINJA

2007-05-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

Not quite yet, but there are times when I am so damn proud of myself. Right now my knowledge of PHP is kind of like a weasel on coke. If I don't check on it regularly, it'll slip off somewhere and it takes a while to find it and calm it down. So when I accomplish something that's relatively simple for normal code-people, I have this little victory dance that I do in front of my computer. For instance, I just finished troubleshooting a function that takes an array of errors and outputs them in an unordered list. Special, no?

By the by, if anyone is interested here's a link to my Myspace page. I know, I know. I still hate on Myspace. But I like to think of it as my little bitch; I mock it and insult it to its face, but I still force it to do stuff for me. I am a master of justifying my actions. Anyways, I have a blog there too. Mostly I just rant about how much local bands suck. Don't ask me why I have two blog-things, I don't even know.

Update

2007-05-08T13:00:00.001-07:00

Okay, I must admit... as long as there are still dance-punk bands like !!! and The Rapture around... punk rock isn't completely dead.

Don't tell the indie kids I'm brutal

2007-05-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

I've been working Monday and Tuesday nights at the Saloon for almost eight months now, and I've found my feelings about certain genres of music inexorably changing. For one thing, punk rock died a long time ago and all the people with their Misfits hoodies and lip rings need to accept that. I may not be an expert, but the fact that I almost never ring over $100 on the floor on punk rock night (Tuesday) tends to influence my opinion. And the $1 PBR isn't to blame, either. Its the fact that no one is there. Also, out of all the punk bands I've heard over the last eight months there have been two that I like. Let's see, there's about four Tuesdays in a given month... so I've been to about thirty-two punk nights. At three-ish bands a night, that's a lot of crap punk rock I've been exposed to. This leads me to believe that while punk rock might still be alive in Japan (Asian Kung-Fu Generation!!!), over here in the land of the setting sun its a slowly decaying corpse.

So I'm kind of sad to see my love of punks die a slow death, but these things must be accepted. In the process of this whole metamorphosis, I find myself starting to really like metal. Monday is metal night at the Saloon, and long ago I came to the realization that metalheads are fucking adorable. For one thing, they're feindishly loyal to their music... I kind of use that term equivocally here. There's a core group of people who are at the Saloon every single Monday. Doesn't matter if the bands suck, they're there. And they're all really nice. Punkers aren't so much into supporting the music, apparently, because I think I have seen a tumbleweed or two blow across the stage on Tuesday nights. So there I was, the indie alt-country raver girl trying not to laugh at the Cookie Monster vocals - until I slowly started enjoying the music a little. Okay, I've heard just about as many crap metal bands as I have crap punk bands but for some reason I'm more tolerant of the metal. Mostly because, as I said, metalheads are so fucking cute. (No, they tell me sternly, they are brutal.) And eventually a few bands played that I could actually get into... generally when I'm working I zone out and I couldn't tell you what the band sounded like half an hour after they stopped playing.

Subjekt 2 Change: The members of this bands are all amazing. They always get so excited about how I spell their name correctly. Their music doesn't suck, either.
Six-Ounce Gloves: They're from California... this was the first metal band that I realized I kind of liked. Didn't hurt that the bass player is smoking hot. Frontman kind of sounds like Maynard from Tool... subsequently they refuse to cover Tool songs.
Northwest Royale: I actually purchased their album the other day... decided I needed some metal in my life beyond the chick-fronted variety.

A year ago, you couldn't get me to listen to any band with growly vocals for anything. Now, I find there are times when you just need some fucking metal in your life. Not to say that I've been brainwashed completely... I still laugh at the extreme death metal bands. That is some funny shit.

Spiderman 3 (OMG teh spoil3rz!)

2007-05-04T20:43:00.000-07:00

Last night was the midnight screening for the latest Spiderman movie; I knew it was going to have a difficult time, since the last one was so frakking good. I saw the second with a couple friends, and we couldn't say anything other than "Oh. My God. Wow." for about five-ten minutes after it was over. I'm not exaggerating - we even all lit cigarettes in silence outside the theater. It was like a very beautiful and articulate demigod had just made passionate love to us; it took a while for the impressions to percolate.

Spiderman 3 didn't exactly produce the same sense of awe, though that isn't to say it was bad. I enoyed it thoroughly, but apparently some of the critics did not. One reason for that might be it is far more campy and tongue-in-cheek than the last two. 2 was a great dramatic movie, with large feelings and grandiose happenings in abundance. 3 was something different... which some people might interpret as bad. The drama was there, but it wasn't as sweeping. There was more cheesy humor. But, if I remember correctly from the old-school Spiderman cartoons I used to watch, there was a fair amount of cheese before.

Particular moments I loved in the movie include the return of THE BRUCE. I'm not even going to go into how awesome I think Bruce Campbell is, it would take too long. The man wrote a book called Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, for fuck's sake. He has a more extended cameo this time, which was amazing. And French. So funny. The man is brilliant.

There was a lot more of Spidey using his surroundings to move around, falling objects included. I think someone on the development team was into parkour, and decided that the only thing cooler than Spiderman was a freestyle-webslinging Spiderman. I tend to agree.

Along the lines of the campiness that's more present in this movie than the previous ones, 'evil' Peter Parker was just hilarious. I think Sam Raimi was trying to make a point; if you're a dork, being evil just going to make you an evil dork. It doesn't automatically make you cool. Peter did a lot of things that heroes do when they embrace the dark side: muss up his hair, buy new black clothes, hit on chicks with no mercy, and growl at people. But the mussed up hair looked silly, and the chicks weren't responding any better to the finger guns now that he was 'evil'. I thought it was awesome.

That being said, the movie certainly isn't perfect. My main issue is Dr. Connors reaction to the evil black Venom goo. It came from outer space, its oozey and black, and it hops around like its intelligent. Does anything on Earth do that? No. And the whole "it came from outer space" thing pretty much guarantees its not on the Periodic Table. But the professor didn't bat an eye about all this, only said that it had symbiotic properties and was dangerous. Um, hello? Substance from outer space! Shouldn't we be getting a tad excited? Calling the Nobel Prize committee? Something? That threw me off.

My second complaint is really petty. It involves the last scene with Peter and Harry, which could have been very touching. I was almost tearing up there for a second... and then Toby Macguire had some kind of facial tic. Seriously, man, stop your contortions. Its just making me laugh, and then I feel guilty because the whole situation is totally not funny. You're fucking up my chi, buddy.

Did I have the same kind of mind-blowing, post-coital reaction to Spiderman 3 that I had to 2? No. But that doesn't mean it wasn't good. I really enjoyed myself. Non-comic book fans might not. But who cares about them, anyway?

2007-04-30T14:22:00.000-07:00

I hate being hungover. Hate hate hate. Dehydration is of the devil.

In other news, this rock and roll lifestyle has got to stop.

boy do I feel stupid

2007-04-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

You know, I can understand certain books taking a long time to read. Like Cryptonomicon... that baby took me a good six months. But its a really thick book, so I didn't feel so bad being behind on my reading.

One of my aunts got me a gift subscription to the New Yorker for Christmas - which is one of the few non-gaming magazines I actually enjoy reading. The articles are usually pretty cool, and the whole "About the Town" section makes me really wish I was living in NY with P-tard. However, it comes every week. Half the time, I don't find time to read it before the next one comes. And I have this mental block against reading the next issue before I've finished the one before it. The result of all this being that I have a giant pile of magazines on my desk that I haven't read. I can't throw them away without reading them, as that would be admitting defeat. I don't have time to read them all. And I keep getting new ones every week to add to the pile. This is getting a little out of hand. Being behind on book-reading is one thing... but, magazine-reading? Hence the feeling of general stupidity. I just got another one today, and I kind of felt like Captain Kirk opening the grain bin full of Tribbles.

It was a general "aaaaagggh, not ANOTHER one!" reaction.

Seriously, this pile is beginning to loom somewhat.

2007-04-26T23:42:00.000-07:00

Heroes is finally back in my life. I had to contain myself when Peter Petrelli came back... I wanted to shriek with joy. God I love this show.

Fuck y'all, all y'all

2007-04-26T10:58:00.000-07:00

Not really. But today I have declared a special holiday of Self-Indulgence. If anyone needs anything from me today, they can just go bugger themselves. I'm going to organize my stuff into the new apartment and play Kingdom Hearts all day. And right now, I am going to the vegan cafe to get me some flapjacks.

hurrah!

You're DONE

2007-04-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I've developed a certain fondness for cutting people off, most of the time. If they've had a few rounds and tipped me really well, I feel a little bad. But then I remember all the times I woke up the next morning wondering why the HELL I didn't get cut off the night before, and wishing I had because good Lord my head hurts.

But sometimes its just fun to fuck with people. Especially if they've bought a good fifty bucks worth of liquor and haven't tipped for it. For example:

Drunk dude: I need another round.

Me: You're cut off dude. I told you that ten minutes ago when you tried to order shots.

Drunkie: Why?

Me: Because you're drunk.

Drunkie: I'm not that drunk.

Me: We went over this ten minutes ago, which leads me to believe that yeah, you are.

In all fairness, he wasn't falling-over drunk. But he was definitely over the limit and he'd been giving me the swerving leer for the last half hour.

things that make me ill

2007-03-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

I figure since I've been sick all week and living on Tylenol and Sleepytime tea, it was time to mix things up a bit and complain about things that make me sick in my heart and soul and not just my body. Really, I just like complaining and I'll take any excuse.

There's a show on A&E called "Intervention" that I've noticed of late. I notice these things because lately the only thing I've had energy for is sitting on the couch hunting around the cable for crime dramas. I swear my couch has a quantum singularity that targets my life energy. In any case, this Intervention show caught my attention because it appears to be an hour crafted to feed on a person's instinct for watching train wrecks. The whole, "Oh god, I can't watch but neither can I look away" phenomenon. Actually, that's really all it is, a TV show dedicated to showcasing human trainwrecks. There are interviews with worried family members, heartwrenching sequences of the addicted person staggering around the house under the influence, more heartwrenching sequences of them screaming when they can't get their fix, and so on and so on ad nauseum. I'm sure there's some kind of resolution at the end of the show - I've never made it to the end of one so I can't say. But even so, what is the point of all that? I really don't get it, but apparently someone watches it because its in its second season. And I think HBO is jumping on the bandwagon and producing a show called Addiction. I don't really understand, but then again I don't understand my own fascination with crime dramas either.

There was one other thing, again relating to the television. Eating contests. Not only do I fail to understand the appeal there, I am seriously repulsed by the whole thing. Why would anyone want to eat so much their stomach expands to three times its size? Or until they throw up? Or so fast their chewing can't keep up with their swallowing? I'm reminded of the vomitoriums in ancient Rome. Wasn't that somewhere at the height of their decadence? And where did they go from there? Oh yeah, the civilization crumbled. Right. I'm not saying that eating contests signal the end of our society, but I think there are a lot of similarities between us and the ancient Romans that we should at least be aware of. No civilization or kingdom lasts forever, and there are some disturbing trends that suggest to me that our number might be up. I'm just going to go the selfish route and say I hope it all goes down after I'm dead.

hmm... nothing like a head full of snot to bring out my inner fatalist. Hurrah!

2007-03-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

It smells like feet in my apartment and my sinuses have gone completely haywire. I can gather only one conclusion - there's mold in my carpet. Fuckshits. Oh well, I've almost got enough money to move out of the ass-end of North Seattle. Civilization, here I come!

In other news, 300 is an amazing movie. I love it. I want to find a way to make babies with it. Alright, maybe that was too much information. The point remains, though... Frikkin' Awesome.

spray more, get fucked you asshole

2007-02-27T02:50:00.000-08:00

There is this incredibly annoying commercial on television made by the asinine people of the Axe body spray company. I'm not saying that the rest of their commercials aren't annoying, but this one particularly so for some reason.

Firstly, I hate it because it made me do something I swore years ago I would never do. It came on the television at the Saloon and I said to a coworker, "You know, I really hate that commercial. I've been meaning to blog about it." That's right, I used the word *blog* in actual conversation. Dear. God. I am a giant nerd, and I know this, but seriously. Using *blog* in serious conversation? That shit's only for hipsters, and there's nothing more irritating than hipsters. Excuse me while I hide my shame.

Moving on. That was just the small, petty reason for my hatred. On to the bigger stuff. When Axe first started out its "how dirty boys get clean" campaign, I thought it was awesome. Perfume ads already were basically saying that by wearing their scent, you would get laid faster and more often. By beautiful people who wear stylish clothes and gaze deeply into your eyes like you are their universe and such nonsense. The pictures, the music, the soulful glances - all it boiled down to was buying this cologne = MORE BOOTY. Axe just took that to the next logical level by making it so obvious it was pretty much a parody of itself. Hilarious.

Although I'm sure there were some people out there who actually believed them and are now wondering why they're not swimming in hot ass. The people who believe that spraying on more scent will attract smoking hot members of their preffered sex. Its these people that motivate me to write this.

The particular commercial I'm talking about is this one: Thousands of hot women, divided into different groups. Each group is wearing a different colored bikini. All of them are mobbing towards a specific spot on the beach with animal lust on their faces. At this spot stands a man, holding a bottle of Axe body spray away from his body and spraying it for all he's worth. As the women converge, a slogan appears. "Spray more. Get more."

That's the problem. I'll lay it down right here - you don't get more booty by showering in scent. All you people out there who think that the only way to do it is so the person going into the restroom five minutes after you can still smell you, take note. If you can smell it on yourself, its too damn much. I hate standing behind one of those leggings-wearing girly girls and being choked by a mixture of Aquanet and whatever the hell perfume they're wearing. Hate it to the core of my soul. And this stupid commercial is only encouraging people to wear more scent. GOD. Has anyone heard of natural scent? You know if you shower, you're going to smell good because you'll smell like yourself. And people five feet behind you won't choke on your "Lilac Morning Musk" ASS SMELL.

Let it be said, though, that I don't hate the idea of cologne. But I like it to be subtle, only noticable when you get a little closer to a person. That way I'm choosing to smell them instead of being bashed in the face with the latest from Brittany Spears or Celine Dion. I mean really - show a little common sense, people.

on the having of boyfriends

2007-02-21T14:32:00.000-08:00

The other day I admitted to someone that I haven't dated anyone since I got to Seattle almost six months ago. Haven't even gone on a date, in fact. The person I was talking to gave me a look that was an absolutely priceless mix of disbelief, shock, and "you are a total space alien". I guess you had to have been there... it was hilarious.

This is actually something I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while. Why do so many people think that you're only a normal person if you are pursuing, screwing, dating, and/or stalking at least one member of the opposite sex at any given point in time? Granted, I'll admit there is the whole "biological imperative" thing that makes us want to hump like little bunnies all the damn time, but that doesn't mean that all of us are just going along with it. And I'll be first to admit that sometimes my hormones issue direct commands for me to find the first available piece of booty and cling to it like a snapping turtle. HOWEVER, generally its pretty easy for my rational faculty to win out because, y'know, the whole being human thing with free will and self-control. Ok, most of the time. Unless I've had a lot to drink.

Basically my complaint is that there isn't just a lack of single people in the world, there's also a shortage of people who are completely ok with being single. Geez, its like we're an endangered species or something. Sometimes, when I am prone to hyperbole, I think that I may be the only person on earth who would rather have less bullshit in their life than more booty.

Ok, I'm mostly done. That all being said, I do have to admit that dating somebody would have its uses. First of all, I love DJs. Not the stupid Top 40 ones or retards who think that a couple speakers and an iPod makes them a Jockey of Discs, mind you, but real DJs who mix their own tracks. Hard house and trance and things like that. Like Frankie Wilde. Seriously, my love for electronic music borders on irrational sometimes. Anyway, I haven't gone to see a DJ since I moved here because I don't have anyone to go with. And what I really want is to go to a drum and bass show, which (given the non-user-friendly nature of drum and bass) I'm pretty sure I could only drag someone to if there was the promise of nakedness and bite marks on the horizon. Sigh.

That's pretty much it, since a friend of mine already invited me over to her house to watch scary Asian movies because I am a total wuss and can't watch them alone. So that solves that problem. But really. Need house music NOW, and from a source other than my computer speakers.

Samurai Champloo: the end

2007-02-17T02:43:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie and tell y'all and say that its hard for a movie to make me cry. I cry all the time in movies. Howl's Moving Castle, The Return of the King... even Xenosaga: the Animation. That last one is a series based on a video game. You can pretty much stick in a cute character with a tragic cause, and I'm all tears.

However, there aren't many movies that have made me try to punch my pillow to death towards the end, and then choke it with happiness once I actually got there.

During the last episode of Samurai Champloo, all I could think of was Spike Speigal saying "Bang" and falling down on that last episode of Cowboy Bebop. And I thought "Oh god, he's going to do it again, kill off my favorite characters and I will never get over it. He's not American, he can totally build up a character and kill it with no reason." But then, there was the magic that is the final episode of a really good anime. I'm in love again. I need to go back and watch Cowboy Bebop.

Even though it will make me weep.

murder me, please

2007-02-03T16:43:00.000-08:00

Not really. But for a minute there this morning, I entertained the idea that death would be a sweet release from the screaming agony that are my muscles. No, it wasn't a hangover, although there was a little of that. Mostly its because my capoiera mestre tried to kill us yesterday.

When I finally got myself settled into Seattle, I decided to look for a new group. All the angola groups were too far from where I live, so I ended up in a regionale group. Regionale capoiera is a lot faster than angola, and there are lot more acrobatic jumping movements. And this particular group is pretty fast-paced, even for regionale.

I think our mestre decided we needed to be whipped into shape, because at last nights class he made us to 5o pushups (the guys, and people who aren't as lame as me had to do 150), 100 situps, and 100 esquivas de frente (a defensive movement, kind of like a lunge). Then, as if that weren't enough, 100 each of 4 different kicks (queixada, armada, martelo, and meia lua de compasso, if anyone's interested). That's 400 kicks. OW. I am in teh painzorz. I feel like a bunch of gorillas beat every inch of me with sticks.

But I guess its the good kind of feeling like ass, not like the flu or a hangover, because you know once you're finished feeling like ass you be just a little bit stronger. In the meantime, though, I'm going to do nothing except sit quietly, breathe, and play Final Fantasy XII.

D&D: Post from when the Internet broke

2007-01-31T12:53:00.000-08:00

Up until a couple days ago, I had never played Dungeons and Dragons. I would tell people this and they'd look at me funny because, let's be honest here, I am exactly the sort of person one would class as a "D&D Whore". RPGs are basically my lifeblood. However, as I've explained to people when they express their disbelief that I've never played, my mom would exorcise me if I ever came home with so much as a miniature.

You know that one Dr. Demento skit that starts, "Dungeons and Dragons... SATAN'S GAME..."? That was exactly how my mom felt about it. Hence, it was never allowed.

(As a side note, I realize that I could have snuck out of the house to find the places where the hell children were playing, but you don't understand the environment I grew up in. The only other kids I knew were scary homeschooled creatures. Seriously. I went over to one of their houses once and saw that they'd blacked out all the dragon symbols on their Midieval Dragonmaster Legos. Why? Their parents had decided that dragons were Satan's Creatures. And these kids were totally fine with it. I would never let anyone touch my Lego dragons. Really, its a wonder I'm as well adjusted as I am.)

ANYWAY. The point is, I'd considered tabletop role-playing as something that had already passed me by, like snogging boys after band practice. Its not as though one can just go into a nightclub and say "Hey sweetie, wanna go roll some stats?" to the first person you meet. One is generally considered weird for doing that. But the other day a friend of mine organized a game at his house, which I was only too excited to get in on it.

I can't believe the years of my life I've wasted not playing tabletop RPGs. I am completely hooked - for instance, I spent all my free time at work today sketching my character and designing a set of armor for her. I'm playing a half-dark elf bard character. When I'm done with her, she's going to be scary hot. (Hot, but also scary-looking.) I'm only level one right now, though, so I can't do much. And since I'm playing a stealth-based character with some magic skills, I'm pretty easy to kill. I had to spend a good chunk of one battle playing dead because I couldn't survive another hit, and I certainly wasn't having any luck connecting hits of my own. I think I shot a guy in the ass one time, but he was already mostly dead.

This is so goddamn fun. If there's one thing I love, its making up imaginary characters. Seriously. Shit, now I've got the warm fuzzies. Excuse me, I have to go finish composing my character's dark and tragic past.

Splash Bubble Princess!

2007-01-31T12:43:00.000-08:00

Bleach is now officially done with the stupid vampire story arc. Really, something has to be really bad if it has vampires and I don't like it. Let there be much rejoicing in the lands! Back to the real world and back to the Hollows. Finally.

One cool thing about the show is that the opening credits usually give a hint about what's going to happen in the future. If that's the case, we're going to be getting some Hollow-Ichigo action. I really have to hand it to my Bleach-buddy Bryan - back when Ichigo was in that pit and he had to gain back his Shinigami powers or else become a hollow himself, he predicted Ichigo was going to turn into some uber-Shinigami-hollow hybrid thing. I'm just hoping they go back to that mental landscape and his normal self and Hollow self work out some kind of truce. That would rock. Or insanity, that would be cool too.

Sometimes I amaze even myself

2007-01-27T14:22:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, I have these moments wherein I look back on something I recently did, or said, and think to myself "Hunh. And I graduated from college." My meaning, basically, is that I find it hard to comprehend that someone who had the mental acuity to get a degree from some place that hands them out (that person being myself) can be so damned scatterbrained about some things.

When I went to Wavelet's wedding, I accidentally left my alarm clock on. Many alarm clocks are built so that you have to switch them on at night if you want them to wake you up in the morning. Mine is exactly the opposite... you have to turn it off if you don't want it waking you up. And when I got home after a full week away and I realized, to my horror, that I'd left it on. This meant that the thing was blaring its ear-searing monotone for two full hours every morning. At seven o'clock. Which wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have people living upstairs who had to deal with it. You can't even imagine how profusely I apologized. I know what its like to be woken up by something like that... I'm pretty sure something really bad is going to happen to me soon.

See, that would just be an honest mistake. If I hadn't gotten home from a weekend at my mom's and realized I'd done it again. The clocks in my house were all blinking, which meant that my neighbors had to get the owner of the house to switch off my power so they could get some sleep. At that point, I lost it and basically ripped the cursed thing out of the socket and threw it into a cabinet. I figure its going to stand there forever, a damning monument to my incredible stupidity.

I am never going to use it again. My karma is so fucked at this point, I'm probably going to fall into the street and get run over by one of those horse-drawn tourist carriages. And then a homeless person will do a line of crack off my exposed skull bone. While grinding my intensines into the street. And it would be no less than what I deserve.

Samurai Champloo

2007-01-18T14:58:00.000-08:00

I know this show isn't anything new to people who love Things That Are Awesome. I just finished watching the baseball episode, myself. Brilliance! There are so many things I love about this show. The soundtrack, for one thing... I need to get my hands on that. I wouldn't have expected anything else from the geniuses who spawned Cowboy Bebop.

Its just so stylish. Set in feudal Japan, but every once in a while some random thing will pop up that totally doesn't belong. Except it does. Like the graffiti artists, or the really pompous characters who have a little entourage beatboxing a theme for them as they walk. One can only appreciate the comic value of beatboxing peasants until one has seen it.

What really makes me laugh, though, is the few American characters on the show trying to speak Japanese. It sounds so Texan. It sounds like they're chewing on the vowels before letting them come forth. So funny.

And obviously a rant about anime wouldn't be complete without me going googly-eyed over a character who only exists in two dimensions and the imaginations of his creators. Jin, the quiet four-eyed samurai character, is smoking hot. That's all I'll subject y'all to.

How to ask out your waitress - Part Deuce

2007-01-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

Apparently my previous rant about trying to pick up servers started showing up on a Google search of some kind. Finally, my carefully laid plans for the downfall of civilization are coming to fruition. Next stage, underwear hats.

Seriously, though, as helpful as that particular diatribe might have been, I came to realize that it was a long list of what not to do (for fuck's sake). What then? The question then becomes once one has fallen into the puppy love with their waitress, how do they proceed? How do they find out when they are working without being totally creepy? I have an opinion about that - several, actually, and all of them are comepletely correct.

Alright, no I am not that much of an egoist. This is, however, the approach that would have the highest probability of working on me, and therefore there's a chance it could work on a significant group of the population. And so, off I go.

As far as finding out when she's working, you have a couple options. The safest bet is to go back on the day of the week you previously saw her working. Many waitresses have static schedules, so there's a high probability she works on the same days most weeks. Of course, you might not see her, in which case there's nothing wrong with asking the bartender if she's working. The question doesn't automatically mean you want to ask her out - maybe she gave you a great bar or restaurant experience the last time and you wanted to sit in her section again. Merely asking if she's on the floor - not creepy. Leaving right after getting a negative answer is indeed kind of rude, as is asking specific questions about her schedule. All in all, the best way to go about it is to go back on a few different days... the odds are you'll run into her again at some point.

That being said, its not a great idea to make it seem like the waitress is the only reason you're there. Its better to appear as though you were coming in anyway, but thought you'd see if this person was working as an afterthought. A good way to do this is to go in with a group of friends. You don't even have to tell them why you want to go to that particular bar - perhaps just suggest the place if it is closeby. Then you are out with your friends, so you're not stuck with nothing to do if she doesn't happen to be there.

However, problems could arise if she is there and you have a chance for a meaningful conversation. You have your friends to worry about, and you might not want them around while you attempt to charm the fair maiden with your rapier wit. This is where my personal favorite strategy comes in. For this, you will need a book. It doesn't have to be particularly intelligent, it could be a comic book, that's not the point. But it does have to be something you actually want to read.

Armed with a book, you have a win-win situation on your hands. If you go and she's there, you can put the book down and talk to her. If she's not, you have something to keep yourself busy for a while. Further, it doesn't seem like the only reason you are there is to flirt with the waitress. You are intelligent. You read books. I carry a book around all the time, just in case I get bored, but I don't expect anyone to go to my extremes. Seriously, though, if more people brought books to bars the world would be a better place.

Some people bring their laptops instead of a book. Here's why I think this isn't such a good idea - the laptop tends to present more of a wall between yourself and the people around you. A person working on their laptop (even if they're only playing Warcrack) looks far less approachable than a person reading a book. I don't know why this is, but its mostly true. And another thing... don't bring anything that requires headphones. Nothing says "I don't want anyone to talk to me" like headphones. Obviously that's not the image you want to present. The key is to look approachable, but you don't want to be doing nothing except following her with your eyes. The book is your friend.

Finally, if you've managed to get a few conversations in with her and you feel like there's some chemistry there, sack up and ask her out. I've seen so many guys get to the "semi-frequent casual conversation at the bar" phase with a girl and just stop right there. Don't do it. Have courage. And chances are, if she's any good at reading people (and if she's a good waitress, she generally will be) she already knows you like her. So you might as well.

2007-01-07T03:02:00.000-08:00

So, Final Fantasy is more or less my abusive spouse. I wait for it to come home for dinner, and it calls and says OH its not coming home for another six months or so. Sorry, honey, don't bother reheating the mac 'n cheese. (See what I did there?) Or, maybe it asks me to go stagger around a dungeon with no save points for hours. Or, hey, why don't you play this inane minigame for a few YEARS so you can get the fancy ending. Or something. But I inevitably come running back for more, entranced by the pretty CGI and inventive systems.

In a completely unrelated forum, I bought Final Fantasy XII this week.

Tonight, I and my femme-y cropped-vest-wearing main character killed a few wolves, some cactites, and... wait for this one -

A Rogue Tomato.

That was one feisty fruit. You do know tomatoes are actually a fruit, right? And, in accordance with their fruityness, they do occasionally go rogue. Its a good thing I was there to take care of it. In my cropped vest.

Have I mentioned yet that I am completely in lurve?

A dissection of the crazy... so, what are you afraid of?

2006-12-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

Its not often that a fully grown person will admit to being sometimes afraid of the dark. I have no problem with this... sometimes I'm afraid of the dark. There. It gets even better. I'm rarely scared of normal, grown up things that should inspire fear like muggers and rapists and such. No, if I can't sleep at night its because of ghosts or demons or something similar. Crazy, no? I feel like I'm in a one-person support circle... "Hi, I'm 24 years old and I'm afraid of ghosts". More recently its taken a specific form... Kayako and Toshio Saeki from Ju-on. Or The Grudge, if you prefer... but that movie didn't really scare me because I couldn't get over the Buffy factor.

I saw that movie over a year ago, and believe me I was terrified at the time. But what really puzzles me is that its stuck with me for this long. I can't remember something scaring me for such an extended period of time. The Sixth Sense was about a day or two, Ringu lasted for a week-ish, and the time one of the older homeschooled boys told me about the Three Days of Darkness maybe got me for three days. It made me wonder what it was about that movie that made it stick in my mind so much.

The first and most obvious reason is the imagery. Its very distinctive, and didn't require anything in the way of special effects, just some paint and costuming. The little boy's completely white skin contrasting with the black of his hair and around his eyes - the extreme dichotomy between the two colors makes it easy to remember and therefore creates a lasting impression. It also has an otherworldly quality that makes it chilling. And since our mental concept of the child is one of innocence, which this kid obviously doesn't have (he really isn't a child anymore, he's a ghost), its just another thing to add to the fear factor. Then take the mother, black face and white eyes (color contrast again, and this time its the other way around), and scraggly black hair. Not to mention the way she seems to float over the floor instead of walking. Her hair and her eyes are the cornerstones of her image, both of which are used to their fullest extent. Remember that last sequence, where she's crawling brokenly down the stairs? Sure that was creepy, but what really stuck with me was the moment she lifts her head up and you see her eyes popping out of her face as her hair parts. Gyeeeesh. I still get chills if I think about it for too long.

Alright, so scary imagery. I went poking around on the internet for a while, and found out a few things about Japanese ghost stories. The imagery comes from back in the days of the kabuki play, where actors would wear a very specific costume when they were portraying an onryo, a vengeful ghost - the costume consisted of a long black wig, white painted face, and a long white kimono that was supposed to be their funeral garb. It was also long enough to cover their feet so they appeared to float instead of walk. The most obvious example of that costume is Sadako from Ringu, but I thought Ju-on presented a very clever adaptation of it. The mother's image is simplified, making her mostly black hair and scary eyes. For most of the movie, her clothes are black which blends into her hair. At the end of the film, though, she appears crawling down the stairs in the clothes she was presumably murdered in, an interesting parallel to the traditional white funeral garb. The white face is transferred to the son, giving him his distinctly creepy appearance. It also suggests that the two of them aren't separate ghosts, but two parts of one entity bent on revenge. Of course, that creates some problems when you try to take both their souls into account. But its an interesting thought.

When I came across the onryo on Wikipedia, I had to stop to think. Beyond the appearance, there was something about these characters that really poked my fear-muscle. Our Western concept of ghosts is pretty tame compared to the onryo. We have our share, obviously. Hamlet is haunted by his father's ghost which tells him to kill the man who murdered him. The Headless Horsemen rides around scaring the people of Sleepy Hollow. In a story called The Death Waltz, a vengeful ghost of a soldier comes to kill his bride after she marries another man a week after his death. Even though occasionally ghosts take their revenge on the living, it usually follows a specific pattern. Our concept of ghosts is that there was something they didn't finish in their lifetime, and once they do that they can move on to the afterlife. Like Patrick Swayze. While that is similar to the concept of the onryo, there are some differences.

The onryo is a vengeful ghost of someone who died in the grip of a strong negative emotion, usually because they were murdered or betrayed. Or both. Most of the time they are women (though there have been male onryo I've heard), and a lot of the time they were murdered by their husband or lover or someone else close to them. Their spirit enters the realm of purgatory, but the emotion they felt at their death gives them a path back to the physical world. Where they wreak havoc. This is all very similar to our concept of the ghost - something bad that happened to them makes it impossible for them to move on. But that's where it departs. Unlike our ghosts, who seek revenge upon the ones who wronged them, the onryo seek revenge upon anyone who crosses their path. In Ju-on anyone who enters the house is killed, and any person who watches the videotape in Ringu dies. This is a fairly traditional view, or so Wikipedia says. For example,there is a story of a samurai who breaks a promise to his dead wife never to remarry. Instead of killing him, his wife's onryo beheads his bride. And so on. Further, trying to resolve the ghost's issue doesn't seem to help. Remember the last part of The Ring where the little boy looks at his mom in terror and says "You helped her? You weren't supposed to help her."? That seems to be pretty much standard operating procedure for the onryo, resolution doesn't help, and it doesn't matter if you weren't involved in the first place. You're going to die anyway, and they don't move on.

I suppose that's what really frightens me. I like to think that if I avoid hurting people I won't be haunted by their angry ghosts. But the concept that if I step into the wrong house, or visit the wrong village, I'm going to die at the hands of some revenge-crazed psycho-spirit is terribly creepy. My mom used to tell me when I was little and terrified of demonic possesion (yes, what an interesting life I lead) that it was okay because you had to let the demon in for it to possess you. That was very comforting. But it seems these ghosts don't follow that protocol. Shiver.

So, that ended up being really long, which brings me to another weird thing about myself. As much as ghosts and supernatural beings scare me, I can't seem to stay away from them. I'm fascinated. However, I'm not stupid and I'll be finding someone to watch Ju-on 2 with me when it comes in from Netflix.

Don't have to live like a refugee

2006-12-19T13:31:00.000-08:00

Ba-dum-pssssssh. Yeah, that was bad. Blame it on the serious lack of good sleep I've had the last few days. I know when I wasn't living in Seattle, I didn't care about how the weather was, so nobody outside of the city (and my grandmother, don't know how she does that) probably knows that we had a huge storm last week. I didn't think it was that bad, but apparently there were some 90 mph winds while I was asleep that blew down a bunch of trees onto power lines. Some of my coworkers are still without power. I was lucky in that respect, it was only out for a few hours.

However, I didn't escape unscathed... some water came through the foundation and soaked my carpet. A day later, it smelled like Satan's asshole so I had to beat it for a hotel while my landlord put a fan in to dry it out. That was on Saturday, and this morning was the first time I've been back other than to grab clean undies. I'm never leaving again. Seriously, I will emerge from this cave when I die and they take my out with a toe tag. I hate couch-surfing, and I haven't had a decent nights sleep in days because the pillows I've been using are too damn hard.

Yeah, so hurray. Carpet's dry, smell's gone for the most part. Now I just have to hope that the insidious black mold of doom hasn't crept in undetected to kill me in my sleep.

oh for sweet fuck's sake..

2006-12-13T01:48:00.000-08:00

Whoever thought up Heroes needs to seriously think about the possible effects of making such a frikking brilliant show. I'm already a recluse, now I will never leave my house. They're going to find me some day, like that one computer hacker, surrounded by cans of Mountain Dew and a dead rat. Gibbering.

Oh wait, it only comes out once a week. Thank god.

I think my soul is missing.

Sparda

2006-12-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

Sparda was a good kitty who liked to go outside. In the end, it might be safer to have a cat with no personality who sat on the windowsill all day and watched the world go by. But I wouldn’t have loved him as much. So when he wanted to go outside, I had to let him. When he came home smelling like dirt with his fur all disheveled, I loved him. He used to tear around the apartment like a bat out of hell and try to claw his way up my pants leg. Sometimes it was annoying, but most of the time it was just part of his personality.

He had the craziest claws I’ve ever seen on a kitten. Seriously, those things were talons. He gave me a couple pretty deep scratches when I first brought him home, a tradition which lived on strongly while he was with me. I think he almost took Pete’s eye out one time. He liked to attack things. He wasn’t a wussy cat. He wasn’t fat or lazy.

But he wasn’t a mean cat, either. He’d hear my car come into the driveway (thing’s hard to miss) and wait by the door. Sometimes I could hear him making noises as I unlocked it. When I would sit at the computer, he’d get onto my lap and shove his face under my chin, demanding me to love him and not the machine. When I’d go to bed, he would crawl on my stomach for a while before settling down right where my legs were supposed to go.

As I said, he liked to go outside to explore. Sometimes, though, good kitties who like to go outside get hurt. Should I have kept him inside where he’d be safe, where nothing could hurt him? I don’t think he would have been as happy that way. In fact, from the time I spent hiding him inside away from the landlords, I know it. He loved to walk through the grass and chase the moving shadows of the trees. And when he’d see me coming before he was ready to stop his little escapade, he’d disappear under the fence with a look that reproached me for trying to cut his alone time short. So, I could have kept him inside and unhappy, or I could have let him go and risk what might happen.

A week before I moved, he disappeared for two days. At first I thought he was just taking an extended break from civilization. Later I started to worry. Maybe all the boxes in the house had freaked him out, so that was why he wasn’t careful like he usually was. He died on the grass a block away from me in the middle of the night while I was lying awake on the living room floor waiting for him to come home. I don’t know if the car that killed him ever even saw him, or stopped. I went to the place where they found him and cried and hoped that it hadn’t taken him long to die. There was probably a lot of pain, and maybe he wondered where I was, but that is three months gone now and at least he’s not in pain anymore.

He was my baby and I loved him.

2006-12-07T01:38:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been developing quite a collection of CDs by bands who have played at the Saloon. I didn't pay for them, except for one from Pin Pon Dash (I think I've been through my weakness for J-punk). That time, though, I started handing the guy individual ones from a wad of cash in my apron that I hadn't managed to sort through until he told me to stop. I'm fairly sure I didn't pay full price, but the point is I gladly would have.

Ok, so yes, my blooming collection of CDs. Most I've never listened to, not really out of any dislike for the bands themselves. I only get CDs from bands whom I compliment, and I'm a horrible liar so when I say something nice, its genuine. Most of the groups that play at the Saloon fall into three genres - Punk, Metal, and Hard Rock. I lost interest in western punk rock after Bad Religion, and I only occasionally listen to hard rock. As for metal... I really only listen to female-fronted symphonic metal that's almost devoid of growling.

I like getting CDs from these bands, however. They always present them enthusiasm and anticipation - they know that piece of plastic represents another person who may listen to their work and pass it on to someone else. That's something I can get behind. After all, its not like my taste is the ending of musical critique... if I don't like it, undoubtedly someone I know will.

I got a disc tonight from a very appreciative bass player. It was slow, and his group was one of the only ones at the tables ordering from me. So I could pay pretty close attention, and apparently that had some kind of effect. I had done my money, but I was staying behind the bar to help out for the post-music rush (such as it was) when he came up to the bar and handed me a CD.

"Thank you!" he exclaimed, "Just... thanks."

Lovely smile. Didn't hurt that there was a very judicious amount of eyeliner present, the kind that makes a certain type of boy completely devastating.

That thought led me to a conclusion of a sort. I could never date a boy from these bands, no matter how fetching their eye makeup. There's only a certain amount of times one can claim to simply not like metal before it starts to sound a little hollow.

I'm geeking out again. (Hooray! Something new and different!)

2006-12-03T01:21:00.000-08:00

It has been said by more than one of my friends that the reason I've been single for so damn long is a simple and easy one - namely, there is no Dante in real life.

No, I'm not talking about the author of the Divine Comedy, although his writing skills should have gotten him a good lay at some point in time. I am referring to Dante, the half demon hero of the Devil May Cry series. He has white hair, sexy neuroses, and lots of weapons. I suppose that would explain why I have trouble bonding to the males of the species, minus that second part.

HOWEVER, if what I have with my dear Dark Knight is something of a relationship, I'm afraid its rather abusive. Not on his part of course... its just sometimes he doesn't swing the sword fast enough and the demons kill me. The demons, by the way, are named after the seven deadly sins.

Lust is lithe and quick, and it leaps back to execute its powerful attack, in which it speeds towards you so that it appears beside you before you realize it. And, all of a sudden, you're skewered. Huh... this has nothing to do with real life.... Nothing at all. They wear red... little bastards, I hate 'em.

Pride is large and lumbering, holding a large (and seemingly clumsy) scythe. But as soon as you think you've got him, he speeds up a little bit just to slash your innards out onto the pavement. Charming.

Sloth teleports to where you are so it doesn't have to carry its HUGE DEADLY SCYTHE very far. Hate them too.

GRRR...

In short, this game is fucking hard. And I'm not the only one, people have been freaking out about how hard it is since it came out over a year ago. It only beats me when I ask for things. Like killing a goddamn monster for fuck's sake already!!!

Just kidding... I love you, Dante.

2006-11-22T12:25:00.000-08:00

Last night was punk night at the Saloon... with two punk bands from Japan as well as the one Japanese punk band from Seattle. The Turtleheads had funny hats and I had to eventually tell them to stop spitting beer on each other. Two of my favorite comments from the stage:

"We come to... America... last week. We go to... Strip Club. He" (points to guitarist) "Love... TITTIES. I have Big Boner."

"Wait, wait... who give me tequila? Who give me tequila?! Fuck, I'm drunk now."

Basilisk - the anime, not the giant snake

2006-11-13T00:56:00.000-08:00

Or, incidentally, the Final Fantasy monster than can inflict the "Stone" status effect, rendering your character effectively dead.

It was hard for me at first to pin down my feelings for this series. Did I love it because of the art, which was fantastic? For the character designs, which were almost Inferno-style in their diabolical creativity? Or maybe for the fact that ninjas are just plain bad ass? Then I thought a little more.

Alright, so its kind of a Romeo and Juliet type story. But lets face it. Romeo and Juliet were a couple of teenage morons who could wait a couple of minutes before committing tragic suicide. My personal thought on the whole play was that the tragedy doesn't lie in the deaths of the two (stupid as hell) lovers, but that the feud between the two families was pointless and cost too many lives. This is why I love Basilisk so very very much. It takes the feud story to a new level by introducing at least five lovable characters on each side, and a couple not-quite-so-lovable ones (though you can kind of understand where they're coming from), and having them kill each other off. For no apparent reason, just in the name of some hatred between their two clans. In addition, each character shows just the right amount of callousness in the face of their enemies to insure not only their death, but a conviction on the side of their enemy that they are an inhuman monster.

This is what I mean: Person A (Saemon) kills Person B (Hotarubi) for two reasons. She (Hotarubi) attacked him (Saemon) first, and also she was involved in the murder of his sister (Okoi). Hotarubi, however, attacked Saemon because he was the one who killed her beloved (Yashamaru). Person C (Gyobu) is obsessed with killing of the enemy clan because his father was killed by them, but in the meantime he killes somebody else who really had nothing to do with it.

The whole series is riddled with characters who have just enough normal human feeling in them to make the viewer understand them, but their actions tell you that they have to die at the same time. Its frikkin' tragic, and I don't think I have to mention how much I love tragedy.

One of the reasons I love it so much is it does an amazing job of showing the viewer how stupid a feud is. The male lead, Gennosuke, says at one point that their hatred for each other would disappear if they just bothered to get to know each other. Which just adds to the tragedy, because while you're getting to know all of them, they aren't getting to know each other. And so they kill each other. But its true, its hard to hate someone after you've sat down to dinner with them and talked about the weather and how you salt your pickles and stuff.

Oh, and also the two "star-crossed lovers" in the situation weren't completely stupid. A little bit stupid, yes, but not completely stupid.

Main points for this little rant: Feuds are bad. Ninjas are bad ass. Gennosuke-sama is hot stuff. Don't look a ninja in the eyes. Ninja names are so much cooler than normal ones. ("Hi, my name is Bill."... "Hello, my name is Yashamaru."... I mean, really, who's winning here?)

And, most important - if you come across someone called Yakushiji Tenzen, he's evil. He's a horrible, double-crossing, murdering, raping bastard. He is a bad man.

Ok, I'm done.

Captain Tripps

2006-11-11T19:35:00.000-08:00

The sucky thing about being sick is... well, being sick. Feeling crappy and all that. The good thing, however, is having an excuse to lie in bed and watch DVDs all day. Yesterday I only emerged from the Cave of Sickness to obtain food and movies, and after than I had no energy to do anything, not even mook around on the computer. Today is pretty much the same thing, so right now I'm watching Stephen King's Storm of the Century and I'm reminded of the time Peter and I watched It.

The movie stopped right in the middle, much to our panic, and we thought that Netflix had only sent us the first DVD of a two-disc set. Going on the Netflix website only confirmed that there was only one DVD of It and so doubtless we were victims of a grand media conspiracy to keep people from seeing the end of movies. Until, of course, we realized that it was a two-sided DVD. Couple of tech geniuses, we are.

Dear Seahawks fans:

2006-11-07T02:32:00.000-08:00

Stop being so damn creepy.

Learn to drink.

No, you may not rub my bum.

Your eyes are for seeing, not undressing.

Its only a game.

Don't touch me.

Thanks for the extra five dollars, but next time please ask before you watch me eat a hot dog.

.... but mostly, Stop Being So Goddamn Creepy.

Go hawks. That is all.

FFXII

2006-11-06T13:41:00.000-08:00

So I guess Final Fantasy XII came out on Halloween. One would think I'd be more excited about it, since I remember disctinctively drooling over import copies at a Japanese game store. I wondered, could I maybe play the game in Japanese? Then, forget it, the whole game is comprised of menus which I wouldn't be able to read.

It was supposed to come out back in March, then sometime in the summer, and when Square Enix finally settled on All Hallow's Eve my first reaction was "I'll believe it when I see it." You broke my heart with waiting, Square, and now the trust is gone. But, they came through this time.

Obviously, if I have any aspirations to finish NaNoWriMo this year I can't buy it. I'm like a junkie, and new Final Fantasy is prime A-grade crack.

On the one hand, no more random encounters! Jubilations!

On the other... its been two years, Square. TWO YEARS.

Things I hate #1: SMILE!

2006-11-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

I think I've mentioned before that I like to hate things. This particular thing, though, isn't something I love to hate. I just hate it, with a teeth-grinding passion. People need to stop fucking telling me to smile. You know there are some people in the world who's natural facial expression is kind of smiley and friendly? They're not putting any effort into it, their face just kind of falls into that expression. The same for the rest of us, okay? Most people in the world don't walk around with a perpetually happy expression on their face, and I am definitely not one of those people. I fall into the category of folks whose natural expression is pretty serious. It just is that way, and yet people seem to feel the need to "cheer me up" or remind me to smile all the damn time. It drives me bonkers. What drives me even more bonkers is the multitude of creative ways people find to tell me to smile more often.

First, there's putting your index fingers on your face and dragging them up so your mouth is stuck in a grim rictus of a smile. That's probably my least favorite, as its patronizing as well as annoying. Its as if they're trying to tell me that grinning like a diseased clown is part of my job. Well, mister, my job is to give friendly service. I'm a friendly girl, and I don't have to contort my face to be so. If I wanted to be a bouncy, grinning bubblehead I would have gotten a job at Bubba Gump's, now wouldn't I?

Second, the "Smile, its not that bad!". Now that's just setting yourself up for disaster. What if it is that bad? What if the person's dog died that day, wouldn't you feel silly? Not to mention that you're opening yourself up to a complete history of addiction and abandonment all ending in "So my face doesn't naturally fall into a smile, dumbass!" Okay, I was exaggerating a little there. There was one time I rebounded on someone who told me "its not that bad" and said that my dad had died. He looked so stricken that I had to take it back right away. But still. Stop fucking around.

Third, there's "You'll get laid more if you smile". Yes, I've actually been told this. Usually by creepy men who are much older than me and sometimes jacked up on coke. I don't think I really need to go into detail, the statement kind of explains its own detestableness.

Alrighty, that felt good. I always say a good hating cleans out the system. Anyways. When we were back at TAC, sometimes we'd discuss what disease we'd most like to die of. I know, I know - but when you're sitting on the smoker's patio on Saturday with a hangover and nothing to do, odd conversations happen. We always came up with tuberculosis, or consumption. Kind of the gentleperson's disease, where you just kind of waste away and occasionally violently cough up blood. No boils or sores involved. After watching The Libertine last night, I think I've decided what disease I'd least like to die of. Syphilis. Boils and sores aplenty, and apparently your nose can disappear. Not to mention the not being able to walk. And if syphilis makeup can make Johnny "hotter than the surface of the sun" Depp look disgusting and grotesque, I don't like to think about what the real McCoy would do to the rest of us normal people.

Although, I don't think I really have to worry, what with all that wild unprotected sex with strangers I plan on not ever having. But still, creepy.

postscript: heinous fashion trends

2006-10-26T02:54:00.000-07:00

I remember leggings. Back in grade-to-middle school I loved to sport the huge T-shirt over leggings look, until my mother wisely told me that was totally Not Okay. I protested. They were comfortable. Same for the stirrup-pant. I might today wear leggings, if all I was planning on doing was sitting at home watching the idiot box.

I also remember the pants-under-the-skirt trend. Of course, that was back at TAC during winter when all we wanted was to not freeze on the way to morning classes. And also during finals week, when we were too stressed out to bother with dress code, and would stash a voluminous skirt in the commons bathroom so we could throw it on for dinner and be allowed to eat with the civilized folk.

Both of these clothing phases happened during two periods of my life which had one thing in common. I didn't give a rat's ass how I looked.

So would somebody please explain to me the leggings-under-miniskirt fad? I don't get it. Are you trying to be modest, because we can still see exactly how your legs are shaped. Are you trying to be "casual and comfortable"? If so, why the horrendous pointy-toed pumps? When those Manolo Blahnik's or whatever they're called came into fashion, I wept tears of shame. One of many things I blame Sex in the City for. That and ruining the phrase "I have to wonder". Really? Must you wonder? You feel compelled, is it? Fascinating.

2006-10-24T01:08:00.000-07:00

Everybody with a functional soul has had this experience. You're listening to an album or a mix or whatever, and a song comes on that just hits you right in the solar plexus. Something about the beat and instrumentals, or the chord progressions, just renders you breathless. Usually with DJ types, this moment is accompanied by squeezed-shut eyes and exclamations of "Yeah, that's the shit right there, man!". I'm not talking about songs that are really good. There's an exclusive brand of song, which is different for every person, that makes you stop everything you're doing and listen. And while you listen, your mind is held by the pure beauty of it. I was just thinking about that today, so I thought I'd share a few of mine. Its different for everyone - it would be interesting to see what kinds of songs other people find breathtaking.

The Magnetic Fields - I Thought You Were My Boyfriend
VAST - Touched
W.A. Mozart - Dies Irie
Maaya Sakamoto - Kiseki no Umi (Its the theme to Record of Loddoss War. My geekery lives a full life.)
Sigur Ros - Flugufrelsarinn
Nightwish - Ghost Love Score
The Water is Wide (I think its a folk song of some kind.)
Death Cab for Cutie - Crooked Teeth (Yes, I know.)
The Pixies - Levitate Me
Porno Graffiti - Melissa
Uverworld - D-Technolife
Evanescence - Where Will You Go (again, yes, I know.)

I don't want this to get too long... some of these are from a few years ago, but I was suprised to see that they still had almost the same effect. I left out some of my more unfortunate musical choices from when I was a teenager. But, you say, you have Evanescence on there. Have you no shame, woman?

Not really, no. Our love affair has been secret for too long.

How to ask out your waitress

2006-10-19T01:02:00.000-07:00

Most people in the bar business get asked out by customers on a fairly regular basis. It doesn't matter too much how attractive you are, its just a part of the job. Of course, some people get potential dates once every half hour, while some of us a mere once a week or so. Most of the time we say no, but not always because we don't actually want to go out with that person. I'll be honest, a lot of the time when servers get asked out, its by scary drunk people. But not always, sometimes its normal, nice looking people who try to get my number, but I say no. Why? Its automatic. This may suggest that I and servers like me just assume the people they're serving aren't worth their time, but this isn't really the case. Speaking for myself, I'm always on the lookout for interesting people no matter where I am. So, to keep the lot of us from looking like ice queens and kings, I present to the handful of people actually reading this:

How to ask out your waitress. Or waiter.

1. Don't be abrupt. You may be sitting at your table, having a great time and relaxing, but that's not what I'm doing. If I'm very lucky, I have many other customers besides you on my mind. The smile on my face is not just there for you, its there for everybody. I'm giving you the same amount of attention that I'm giving everyone else in the bar, normally. My radar may go off when I notice someone being overly friendly, but for the most part my mind is on work. So when a customer goes straight from the occasional "Thanks, darlin'" when I bring them a drink to "Hey, can I get your number, maybe take you out sometime?" my brain kind of short-circuits. "Nurr, customer asking me out, nurr, must think of excuse, nurrrr," it goes. And then I say that I have a boyfriend, or don't date customers, or some such thing. They might be the nicest person in the world, but if I don't have the time to process, refusal is the first thing that's going to come out.

2. Keep the server priority list in mind, and don't try to monopolize their time. I usually have a list of important things to do in my mind while I'm at work. It goes like this; make money, go home, drink a couple shots, sleep. I'm sure there are servers in the world where "get laid" is in that list somewhere, but I guarantee you its somewhere below the making money bit. In fact, if someone finds me a server who holds getting laid higher than making money, I'd have to ask if they're some kind of trustafarian. Everybody knows, or should know, that server wages aren't enough to live on. We pay our rent, keep our lights on, and feed our vices on our tips. This means that I can't spend too much time talking to any one person while I'm at work, whether I want to or not. So, if you're trying to get on a server's good side, don't try to monopolize their time. If they like you, they'll find some reason to talk to you. We have lots of excuses - can I get you another drink?, here let me wipe that spill off the table, you need a light for that cigarette, hon?, and so on. Personally, though, even if I'm flirting with a person, I won't do so for more than a few minutes at a time, because I've got that fatty student loan payment breathing down my neck.

3. Be stealthy. I and most of the servers I've worked with don't go home with customers after just meeting them. The reason is that they're usually pretty buzzed and we're fairly sober. Unless you've got a server who's either really drunk or really horny, you're not going to be making with the hot monkey love that night. I've witnessed both cases at some point, so there's that to consider. Personally, at the end of a long night the last thing I want to be doing is playing the drunk fumble-sex game with some random guy. I just want to go home and chillax. So if the sweet lovin' is on your mind, there are plenty of drunkish girls to choose from at any given bar. However, if you honestly like the person who's serving you, the best way to go about it is mild-to-heavy flirting on several different visits to the bar. I can't say that I don't date customers, because I have and probably will again, but its always been a person who's come in more than once and expressed interest each time they come it. The first time, I usually dismiss it as normal flirting-with-the-waitress antics. The second time, it'll get my attention and I'll probably ask myself if I want to respond to this whole dance or not. The third time, I'll either put a stop to it somehow or ask them to quit screwing around and ask me out already.

This is all just reflections on my personal experience, of course, and I can't speak for the rest of my fellow servers. Obviously.

Also, I'm not being all ego-trippy and I hope it doesn't sound that way. "Ohh, look at me, look how many phone numbers I've collected, aren't I hot?" wasn't the air I was going for. Hope it didn't look that way. I just had a couple things on my mind, that's all.

2006-10-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently there's this move called The Prestige opening on Friday. Obviously I've been far removed from the pulse of society, otherwise I would have noticed a movie starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, and Scarlett Johansson - directed by Christopher Nolan. And David Bowie's in it too. Where the hell was I, and why wasn't I going into spasms of joy?

Fashion trends that make me go "ehhh?"

2006-10-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been needing some new clothes. Every so often girls go through some kind of hormonal change (maybe guys do too, I don't know) which causes them to look at their closets in disgust and think "I hate everything in here." The last couple weeks, my hatred of my clothes has outweighed my hatred of shopping and consequently I found myself in various clothing stores looking for something, anything, that didn't make me look like Lola the Elephant Woman. First of all, I am complelled to state my frustration at the lack of normal human clothes on the market that aren't either tragically old-lady-ish or boho/Paris Hilton "I just took my speed-and-Denerex for the day OMG LET'S GO CLUBBING". In the process, I discovered a few fashion trends that really made me scratch my head.

The Cinched Skirt
I don't know the formal term for this one. I'm sure most people have seen it, though... the skirt with a drawstring on the bottom which is pulled in so the fabric above it drapes over, giving the whole thing the illusion of pantaloons, but without the pants bit. What the bloody hell? Luckily, most of the examples of this mind-bogglingly stupid garmet were on the clearance racks, leading me to believe that the masses had their heads screwed on right one day and said, "You're kidding, right?". But I have seen celebrities wearing them, and so must conclude that somewhere, some designer decided that the pantaloon-skirt was a Good Idea.

The Formal Short
My sis disagrees with me on this one, saying that the formal short is cute and causal. Casual, perhaps, but I can't agree with the cute thing. The concept of the short pants is one that belongs on the beach or the speedboat, but not at the afterparty. Although, I could concievably see some meth-addled movie extra popping up somewhere in cutoff denims and cowboy boots- somehow that idea is less abhorrent to me than the formal short. Especially in its brown plaid variations. What. The Fuck. Is that. I can't even begin to imagine how one could sucessfully pull that look off. It would probably require some really tall stilletto boots, but if that's the case why not just throw in the towel and break out the hot pants? Why the "I'm going to the office! No, silly, I'm going to a party! But I had you wondering, huh? Don't I look serious and businesslike? Tee!" chic? I'm just checking here, but didn't we climb out of that primordial ooze at one point?

The Billowy Empire Waist-y Tank
Don't know what the formal name for this one is either. But I'm sure we've all seen it, the tank top made from some filmy printed material that has shape right until the boobs end. Below that, it has some scarf-y swatches of fabric that just sort of hang there over the stomach. I knew a girl in Monterey who wore one of these. She had your average Hot Little Bod, and she looked absolutely pregnant in it. So, really, my hat has to go off to those designers. Congratulations guys, you made a top that makes attractive women look fat and they bought it. You win.

The Shirt with Adornments Where the Boobs Should Be
The above three paragraphs really didn't have anything to do with me. This one does. I don't know how many shirts I tried that, while they would look cute on someone with a flat chest, they look retarded on someone with boobs. You know what I'm talking about, the button up with the layers of ruffles down the front. The club top with the huge rhinestoned rhombus right where the boobs should go. Below the boobs could work, but nooooo, they had to put it right inbetween them. I could go on. Its as if someone decided that, being as big bazoongas were the Holy Grail that all women tried to reach, such things did not exist in the real world and so they didn't have to design for them. Not so, I tell you.

Anime review-thing: Gilgamesh

2006-10-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Quite a few of the anime series' I've watched through the end have a special attitude towards resolution. There isn't any. Or if there is, its the kind that leaves you scratching your head and muttering "Huuuurrr? The fuck?" under your breath.

The art in Gilgamesh was fantastic, and the whole series had this broody-gothic feel to it that I really liked. It was kind of a "Last Days" type of story, with some interesting philosophical elements. And I can get behind anything with mystical post-technology themes. But then I got to the end.

I'm not saying I didn't like it, because it kept me interested all the way through and the last episode was engaging and such. But there was a serious "Huuurr?" moment there - actually, I don't think I've been that confused by an ending since Evangelion. Not confused, really, just kind of boggled. I'm still boggling, a couple hours later. Hunh.

It had some great music, though. The original stuff was good, but the soundtrack also featured a movement from Beethoven's 5th Piano Concerto. Gorgeous.

Don't watch it if you only like happy endings. The last episode of Blood + was called "Nankurunaisa", a phrase which was conveyed by the translators to mean that everything was going to work out somehow. The ending of Gilgamesh is pretty much the polar opposite of that. Though if you like watching artfully arranged horrific slaughter accompanied by ethereal classical-ish music, then get your booty over to Netflix or whatever.

Its like Christmas in October

2006-10-10T03:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight I got presents up the yin-yang.

When I walked into work, there was a cute pinstriped hat hanging on the employee hooks. I wondered whose hat it was. After I clocked in, the manager came up to me, holding this very same hat, and asked if it was mine. I said it wasn't, though my face clearly conveyed that I thought it should be mine.
"Well," she said, "Its been in the back room for weeks. We all thought it looked like you, so its yours now."

Yay, a hat. I think I'll wash it first.

One of the bands that played tonight was actually pretty good. When the singer came up to pay his tab, I told him his band was one of the few I'd heard at the saloon that I'd actually listen to of my own volition.

"Great!," he said, "I'll give you a CD."

Jubliations! A CD.

When I went out for a smoke, an older man tried to sell me some mints. I shook my head. On my way in, he pressed a small box into my hand. It was some kind of honey-jojoba face cream.

"You have beautiful skin," he said, "I'd like to help you keep it that way."

Yay for face cream.

As I came back inside, the bar manager swore that he needed to get himself some boobs. Then maybe he would get max bonus presents.

Contrast

2006-10-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

I love working at the Saloon, and a big reason for that is its so different from the Pub. Its not that I didn't like working at the Pub, I just enjoy a little change in my life. The Pub was a great place to work, and if I ever find myself back in Monterey I'll probably work there again. The place was a frikkin' money factory. At night there were always at least four servers on the floor, and the place wasn't really that big. Most employers are worried about labor costs, but not the owners of the Pub. They could literally afford to pay a server and a bartender to sit around and do nothing for their shift if it wasn't busy, and they wouldn't bat an eye about it because they wanted the people there for any possible rushes. For a privately owned business, that's a rarity. The Sultan was constantly complaining about labor costs, which led to me sometimes opening and closing the House of Curry by myself without a busser, hookah person, or bartender. The Pub was always good to me, and I love it, but its completely different from where I am now.

At the Pub, all the servers wore white shirts and garish ties with black pants. The only exceptions were beer or liquor promotion weekends when we'd wear T-shirts. There were always at least two cooks in the kitchen during the day, and four at night. Every drink had to be taken out on a tray, even if it was a solitary beer. Well-dressed businessmen and convention goers flowed in and out, not batting an eye at the $5 pints or $7 call liquors. We had twenty beers on tap, none of which were crappy domestics. The owners ran a tight ship, and I loved the orderliness of the place.

At the Saloon, we wear whatever we want. Tattoos can be visible and piercings are run-of-the-mill. Pabst Blue Ribbon is $2 dollars, all the time. The only time we ever have more than one cook is for Seahawk games, and usually there's only one server on the floor. We have a huge contingent of local regulars who all get discounted drinks, who in return will buy the staff shots while they're on duty. Its in one of the oldest buildings in Seattle, and so can be a little rough around the edges. Thursday nights, crowds of bikers come and hang out with their choppers parked out front. Its not a refined place, and I love the chaos.

Funny old world, ain't it?

2006-10-05T02:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the official introduction of WTF? Wednesdays at the saloon, which is basically a local statement that Wednesday is the new Friday, minus the tourists and fratboys who seem to only go out on the weekends. It was sponsored by the local free porn mag.

Perhaps you think I'm joking. Nope, there is a monthly magazine that is distributed to many bars and tattoo parlors around Seattle which features many pictures of partially-clothed women and lots of columns about sex and adds for strip clubs. Alright, so it isn't a "porn mag" per se, it comes pretty darn close. Each issue features a Suicide-Girl-esque model on the cover, and there's a full page add for the saloon in each issue. One of these adds featured the manager and a couple other employees smiling for the camera in various states of undress. I want to send that add to the Pub with a note saying "Hey, guys, this is where I work now!". I bet it would get a reaction.

So WTF? Wednesdays promises to be loads of fun, if you're the kind of person who likes screamer metal and frontmen who use the term "fucking" like some people use "dude". I myself am partial to "fuck" as a word, but I try to use it judiciously, and at the right moments. Not so with these gentlemen. But, I had my earplugs and everyone was drinking like so many fishes, so I can't complain. I made out like a bandit, even working the floor.

Unfortunately, I haven't worked my way up to bartender status yet. At the moment I'm happy to have regular shifts, so I'm willing to put the time in at the bottom of the booze chain. I've been told my ascent in the ranks will be swift and painless, like a friendly heat-seeking missile. A couple of the bartenders are planning to leave in the near future, and so I work the floor and lie in wait. I am like a hungry velociraptor, flexing its talons. Or some such, its been a long night. But tomorrow is my Friday. Huzzah!

2006-09-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

As I pointed out to my sister, today I am the most noble person in the fucking universe. I have put aside my own desires and acted in the interests of others. After I got off work, I hopped a bus to the U-District to help the sis stock up on beer for a party. I helped carried said beer to her house, thus insuring the having of a good time by all.

In doing so, I turned down the possibility of perhaps getting some booty. If not strictly tonight, then most likely later in the week. Superficial? Definitely. But, though one cannot exactly die of sexual frustration, it gets trying after a while.

So, I am bloody self-sacrificing.

Phooey.

how's this for creepy?

2006-09-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed that all the teeth on the upper left side of my mouth fell out. Just like that, a couple felt kind of loose and then all of a sudden they were all just falling out into my hand. To make matters weirder, my Great Uncle Larry was the one operating on my to put them back in... Great Uncle Fred was the doctor in the family, and he's deceased. Uncle Larry had a heart attack right in the middle of the operation, and I had to rush him to a completely different hospital than the one we were at. Because apparently that one only dealt in freak tooth-loss cases. Some cops tried to pull us over, but I was really pissed about my teeth so I outran them.

So if anyone would like to tell me what the hell all that means... yeesh. I actually had to feel around my mouth this morning to make sure my teeth were all there.

2006-09-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

Its hard to take a wedding seriously when the presider is wearing a robe that once graced the set of "Jesus Christ Superstar". You think I'm joking, don't you? Not only that, the thing was covered in "love tokens" handmade by all the couples he had ever married.

However, he made sure to stipulate, if the marriage doesn't work the couple has to come and take the love token off the robe. And they have to come to do it together. Not something I would have mentioned at the actual wedding, but that's just me.

"So," you ask, "Were you at a wedding this weekend?"

Why, yes. Yes I was, now that you ask. My Dad was married yesterday. And, despite the sarcastic comments above, I am real happy for him and his wife. The ceremony was a little less formal than what I would have picked, but it wasn't me getting married after all. It was completely different from the weddings I have more recently attended... all of those were huge Catholic affairs that involved lots of alcohol. My dad got married under a tree by a hippie poet from Big Sur, and neither of them drink. But I have to say, its the happiest I remember seeing him. I've seen him pretty unhappy, so this was a nice change.

The wedding song, though. Ouch.

Absinthe

2006-09-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

is the shit. Not only is it tasty and intoxicating, it has its own nifty accessories.

now that's hot

2006-09-18T02:03:00.001-07:00

I have had an epiphany. Beyond the classic Dracula by Bram Stoker, Buffy, and perhaps Blood Sucking Fiends by Christopher Moore, there is only one place to find a good vampire story. The fountain of all things good and entertaining - anime. Seriously, what have we in the West contributed to vampire lore of late? Anne Rice (pukety puke puke), a stupid movie with Wynona Ryder, and Blade. Woo, I'm impressed. But on the anime side of it we have Trinity Blood, Hellsing, Vampire Hunter D... and, most recently Blood+.

Ironically enough, the series is based on a movie I didn't think was all that impressive, namely Blood, the Last Vampire. Concept was good, story was a little disjointed. The series, though... lordy it is good. In short, Saya is the main character, a vampire (they're called Chiroptera in this series) raised by humans. She has a twin sister, whom she named Diva who is a crazy (but very cute) megalomaniac who likes human blood a good deal. Saya's mission in life is to kill her sister, then kill herself because they are the source of the vampire race, which Saya believes doesn't belong in the human world. I can't argue with her, I wouldn't want ugly red-eyed creatures devouring my near and dear. I won't go into much more detail about the story, seeing as its a 50-episode series. At about 30 minutes apiece, that's over an entire day of television. I just wanted to comment on the second-to-last episode. So, if you haven't watched it, take my word for it that you should and stop reading. Nobody's really going to understand anything after this who isn't as deep into this series as I am.

I've read a few opinions online that express disappointment that none of the good guys (esp. Saya) got the ax in the final battle. And that said battle didn't take more time. What I have to say about that: This series was never about the fighting. Yes, there was fighting - a lot of it. There was a lot of blood and a few people died, but that was never what it was really about. If I wanted to watch a show that was just about fighting, I would watch Bleach. In fact, I do watch Bleach. This is something different. This show has more character depth than I've seen in an anime since I finished Monster ( show everyone and their mother should watch, its amazing). When the show starts out, Saya doesn't even know she's a vampire, doesn't remember waking up and massacring all those people in Vietnam. You find her realizing that she empathizes with humans, even though she's not one of them. Then she begins to love them, but she still believes that she has to die in order for the world to be a better place. However, her friends don't want that... even Hagi, her Chevalier, obviously doesn't want her to die even though he promised her he would kill her if that was her true desire.

When Diva dies at the end of episode 49, Saya begs her to take her along as well. But the reason for that seems more escapist than anything else. She doesn't want to accept that her kind can live alongside humans, even though its been made clear that they can. She thinks its clear cut, that Chiroptera pose a threat to humans that must be eliminated. But I don't think her death wish is that easy to explain, which is why she didn't die at the end of the episode.

And I don't think that Diva's evil is that easy to explain either. She killed humans because she didn't know any other way, the fact that she was locked in a tower with no company at the beginning of her life saw to that. And who locked her up in that tower but a human who wanted to study her? You could almost say that humans created that threat against them when they isolated her, so who exactly is the real bad guy? And Diva's final thought, that of playing with her baby daughters, shows that her reason for living wasn't to bring death and destruction, but to bring life into the world. Also, the fact that Solomon, who was Diva's Chevalier, turned to fight on Saya's side suggests to the audience that true Chiroptera don't have to harm humans. Which brings us to the final question of the series. Its not whether or not the bad guys die and the good guys live, because like many animes the lines between friends and enemies are getting pretty blurred. The question is whether or not Saya (and, by extension, Chiroptera in general) can find a place in the world, because she's obviously a good person. And the newborn queens aren't destined to do evil. Since Saya grew up to fight for the protection of others, and of her own free will at that, proves that nobody is destined for destruction. Chiroptera can value life as well as any human, because they are portrayed to have free will. Well, except for the mindless ones that just kill people, but that's not the issue.

So, while some might be disappointed that the final episode is slated to be just a wrap up of all the events, I think the real climax will be discovered there. I knew that Diva was going to die, one way or the other. What I really want to know is if Saya can accept the fact that she can have a place in the human world. Or will she give up, and make Hagi go through with his promise to kill her? The root of the story isn't the fighting, though that is fun to watch. Its the dilemmas the characters go through. And I'm counting the days to find out how those dilemmas work themselves out.

In other news, if I could find somebody to pay me to review anime, my life would be just about perfect.

Angel

2006-09-17T20:38:00.001-07:00

My relationship with Buffy the Vampire Slayer was largely uncomplicated. I thought it was wildly entertaining, well-written, and funny. It also had vampires, and since Joss Whedon is one of my favorite living writers, there was really nothing not to like. Its not like we didn't have our ups and downs, like the Buffy love-doll or Riley Flynn. But we loved each other.

I have none of that clarity with Angel. When I first started watching it, I told myself that it was okay since at least I knew it wasn't a good show. But the combination of the fact that I don't know anybody in this city and the video store down the way has the hugest TV-on-DVD collection I've ever seen aside from Netflix has led to me killing almost two seasons of Angel since I moved here. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I don't enjoy it, but I find myself faltering in the conviction that its Not A Good Show. Its all very confusing.

First, let's take the main characters. On the whole, I thought Buffy was the most irritating and depthless character on the series. I'm the Slayer, I'm destined to be alone, you don't understand what I'm going through because you weren't chosen. My life is pain, blah blah blah boringcakes. Especially in the last season; good lord but did she get on my nerves there toward the end. And when the end of the series came I was mostly glad she couldn't be up on her high horse about being the chosen rather than being elated that they defeated the ultimate evil. On the other hand, I like Angel as a character, once he got away from Buffy. When he was with her, I just didn't get the fact that a 200-year-old vampire decided a chosener-than-thou high school girl was the love of his life. And of course he had to take the back seat because... right, Slayer. On his own, you can see more of his personality, and its actually very well done. So there's that.

Of course, as much as I like Angel - and don't even get me started on Cordelia and how much I love her - his show just doesn't have the personalities that Buffy had. In Buffy we had Willow, Oz, Anya and Xander. All of them unique and awesome, especially Willow. The characters in Angel just can't stand up, unless they already had a good history of development behind them like Cordelia.

And then there's the evil law firm. At first, I laughed. In fact, I still laugh. But now its more of a "Hey, that's kind of clever" laugh, and I'm wondering if my addiction has conquered my taste or I've just seen the light. I mean, the way some lawyers do their business, it would almost be like the next step to say they're working out of some Hell dimension. And there is something about the phrase "Senior Partners" that rings ominous. I just don't know.

I know that lots of educated people have weird guilty pleasures. I myself watched Charmed religiously for a while. Lots of people I know love the Gimore Girls. But this show is making me love it. Next thing you know I'm going to be sending it flowers and singing ballads under its bedroom window. I shudder to think.

2006-09-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

The only way I can explain this day is that the stress of the move finally caught up to me. Its true, since I arrived in Seattle, I've spent a lot of time on my arse. But these hours have also been spent in fear of unemployment and starving. I wouldn't call any of it actual vacation, as a vacation is a break one takes from a job one already has and will be going back to.

This afternoon I had an interview for a job I wasn't sure I wanted in a bar that hadn't opened yet. The hiring manager's name was one only "enlightened" parents give to their children in order to avoid any kind of religious stance. My plan was to take the bus, but despite my full night's sleep, I was really sluggish getting out of bed this morning. So I missed the bus, and had to drive. I've already explained my hatred of driving in the city, and this was the middle of the day with lots of traffic. I finally found a parking garage that wasn't closed for an event, landed my hatchback between a Lexus and an overpriced suburban hummer-clone, and resigned myself to paying more than the price of a pint for my car's stay there.

As I entered the building for this interview, I guess all the activity of the past week (moving out of one apartment, quitting a job, driving for three days, coordinating with the moving people, moving into a new apartment, writing glossy cover letters, and worrying about my future) came crashing down on my head. It was all I could do to figure out which button in the elevator to push, and since I had yet to put two and two together, I wondered why I was so disoriented and exhausted. I made it through the interview as quickly as possible, and I doubted they would be calling me back. I didn't care. All I could think about was getting home and crawling back onto my futon to watch Gilgamesh and drink tea. I think there was salivating going on.

Watching television on the couch has pretty much all I've accomplished today. I know something out of the ordinary is going on with me because I was too tired to feel guilty about a single second of it.

things we thought we'd never say

2006-09-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break right from writing a long and spirited diatribe against state liquor boards. I was starting to get a little worked up, and there's really little I can do from my bedroom - so what would be the point of filling myself with riteous anger? Beyond marching down my street with a torch, singing "Do You Hear the People Sing?", that is.

I called P-tard the other night, while walking to the bus station. Or rather, the bench where the bus tends to stop if there are people there. Calling it a station would be a bit much.

"Guess what?" I squeaked excitedly into my phone, thinking immediately afterwards that I had become one of those irritating girls whose phone is always clinging to their ear like a parasite while they're waiting for the bus.

Its okay, I told myself. I'm not on my phone all the time. This is important.

"I just got off work!" I said, "Yee!"

You really never think you'll be that excited about manual labor. But its true.

So, yes, I have a job of sorts, at a saloon. At the moment, I'm just filling in shifts when needed, but I've gotten wind that someone might be "moving on" and a more permanent postition may be available. I feel bad for whoever they are, but I also want their job.

From what I can tell, a saloon is exactly the same as a pub, except without the pretentions of being British. Or Irish. The Irish pub was something I didn't experience until I got to Seattle. For some reason, Monterey is brimming with British Pubs. Seriously, I think there's some kind of zoning law that says a British pub must be present every 100 yards. So now I'm moved on, from pub to saloon.

You can tell this saloon is old from all the hodge-podge collections of decoration that can only be the result of long years of collecting. There are pictures of a man who once ran to be Seattle's Mayor, who made the Saloon his base of operations. Who knows, maybe that's why he didn't win. There's a mechanical gorilla on top of the safe and a mermaid in the window. The mermaid is scary, but the gorilla is pretty friendly-looking. The bar is a mile long, wooden, and worn.

There is music at the Saloon every night, and Tuesday nights are for punk rock. The first two bands were of the school of thought that in order to be punk rock, one's songs must have no melodies and its imperative to have lots of throaty screaming. I'm not a fan of this school, which I guess means I am not Hardcore. I like me some Dead Kennedys and Bad Religion, but I pretty much stopped listening to new punk bands. The third band, though was charming.

Japanese (you had to know this was coming) punk rock, from what I can tell, is almost always happy. This is something I can get beind; I like my punks happy. These guys were called Ping Pong Dash, and you couldn't understand what they were saying at all. Not even a little bit. Unlike the other bands, though, there were actual melodies incorporated into the songs. Plus... happy Asian punk boys. I think I'm in lurve.

some random thoughts

2006-09-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

I hate driving in the city. Its not that I can't do it, I just don't like it. It makes me nervous. First, I have California plates, which label me as an outsider. Also, said plates appear to be expired because of yet another fun mixup at the DMV. See, before I left California, I sent in my registration fee for the GTI. I did this because I thought I would have to pay some late fees if I just waited to register the car in Seattle. Besides, that would be a pain, and its ok to drive a California-liscensed car in another state. Happens all the time. So, what do I recieve in the mail the other day? Not my new registration stickers, no. It was a check for $10, and a note saying I had paid unnecessary fees.

Hello? If the $10 was unnecessary, where are the other 71 dollars I sent along with it? If you're not going to give them back, give me my goddamn stickers.

So that's one stressor. Second, you can't find parking anywhere. I drove down the U-District to watch "Beerfest" because I was getting cabin-fever related spaz attacks. Figures that the only theater playing this movie would be in the college district. Took me for-frikkin'-ever to find parking. And even then, you never know if you missed a loading-zone-only warning that's the size of a postage stamp and painted on the underside of a water drain. Who knows if your car will even be there when you get back.

I would have taken the bus, but I missed it. The Seattle busses are great. Sure, you get the odd crazy person smelling of rat funk, but they go anywhere in the city and they're relatively on time. Its better than fucking driving, anyway.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, a few thoughts on Seattle. So far, I like it. I've been to a few of the districts and they're all very different.

Downtown is huge and somewhat daunting for a person who's been living in Monterey for the last two years. The buildings are all huge and there's lots of people, many of whom are carrying Nordtroms or Gap shopping bags. Most of the time when you pass an alleyway, there's a distinct scent of urine. I think that'll be a place I go every once in a while.

Pioneer Square is the historic part of the city. There's still the occasional urine smell, but it has much more of a small town feel to it. Reminds me a bit of a bigger version of Alvarado, but with less rich people.

The U-District surrounds the University of Washington. While the campus is beautiful, the U-District makes me feel old and out of place. The only people there older than me are ancient homeless folks. I might be wrong on that one, because I got uncomfortable and left fairly quickly.

Capitol Hill has a cool flavor to it. There are lots of bars there, many of which are gay bars, and there's a lot of neat little shops. I could spend some time there.

Ballard is so far my favorite area, aside from Capitol Hill. Its quieter than the rest of the city, but there isn't as much going on. I'm looking at getting a job in a tequila bar there. It has its share of cool cafes and such.

It being Seattle and all, there are coffeeshops everywhere. You can't walk a block without encountering at least one. And the craigslist job postings are awash with ads for experienced baristas, which I suppose is an avenue I could explore if I can't find anything else.

Oh yes, Beerfest. It had its moments, but it was no Ricky Bobby. Talladega Nights is currently the standard by which I judge all comedies.

2006-09-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

This is just a temporary redesign until I figure out how I want this thing to look. Given the amount of time I have on my hands, I suppose there's never been a better time for a weblog revamp. We'll see, maybe after this is all done, I can add CSS to my list of "marketable skills". Yeah, right there behind food critique and memory for trivial facts.

2006-09-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

My good friend Wavelet will understand my feelings on being unemployed. Unpleasant, that's what it is, and I'm not even really talking about the impending financial doomsday. This has been the longest stretch of days I have not had to work in over two years. I'm not completely dumb, so I didn't move out of CA until I had enough money to live off for the period I was hunting for a job. So, while the gripping "What the hell am I going to eat next week" panic hasn't set in, I find myself discontented. This probably has something to do with the fact there is a rather large workaholic nucleotide floating around in the family genome. You know, if you have too much free time, you might actually start enjoying life. Its hard to suppress, but I've beat it down by forcing myself to play Oblivion for hours at a stretch.

Ha. Sheer brilliance.

Not only do I dislike being unemployed, I really hate the job-hunting process. I should just wake up one morning and have an obligation to be somewhere to do some job and collect money for it. This is the way the universe would be run if I were behind the wheel, anyway. Jobs would materialize out of thin air! Don't have an occupation, great! Here let's put you on extinct-animal monitering duty or some such thing. Convincing somebody that you're a great person and highly desirable as an employee is hard to do without sounding egotistical or just plain dumb.

Hire me, I have an eye for detail.

Hire me, for I am self-motivated.

I putter about in Dreamweaver and Photoshop in my spare time. Hire me.

Grr. Argh.

This has to stop. Do you people have any idea how many discs of Angel reruns I've burned through this week? I really am ashamed of myself.

the dawn has risen!

2006-09-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know about anyone else, but I spend a significant amount of time of the Internet. Being deprived of the Internet is like having a major appendage amputated without painkillers. So, when I moved into my new place in Seattle and didn't have the Internets for a week and a half... well, it wasn't pretty. Luckily, I had the PSP, but the web browser on that wee thing is one rung below Firefox's retarded little brother. If the retarded little brother and the red-headed stepchild had an unholy lovechild, it would be the PSP's web browser. Not to mention the having to walk down to the local coffee shop just to undergo this misery. Finally, though, the light has come, even if it is a plodding wireless connection to the house's cable.

In other news, I heard NIN's "Hurt" on the radio at this bar, and I realized I'd never heard it before. I'd only heard the Johnny Cash cover. But I think that's alright.

the Rage

2006-08-20T03:20:00.000-07:00

Speaking of food service blogging, I would like to relate an incident that occured this evening which directly caused me to contract the Rage. The Rage is not like normal rage. The article before it and the capital 'R' denote its specialness. The Rage is something experienced by service/hospitality/retail workers when a customer does something so inexcusably irrational that the worker's brain threatens to explode. The Rage can only be cured by alcohol, cigarettes, or some other vice.

An eleven-top entered the Pub during prime dining hours. This being Concourse weekend, space was limited. There wasn't going to be a large enough table available for quite some time, and they were informed of this. They stayed and waited. Ordered some drinks from the bar.

Before I launch into this story, a few background notes. First, I didn't have my normal full section tonight. Since it was busy, there were three servers in the dining room instead of two. A competent server and I each had five tables. Ms. Bipolar had four. Ms. Bipolar has been waiting tables for 30 years, and as far as I can tell has been a bad server for that entire time. She thinks nothing of yelling at a customer, complaining loudly about something in front of customers, or generally exhibiting her craziness to the customer. This is a big no-no. In the service industry, most of us are crazy. But we know to keep the crazy in the kitchen where the customers can't see it. There are no such boundaries for Ms. Bipolar, which leads into my second note.

Most restaraunts have a rule where they add an automatic gratuity for large parties. Up until a few months ago, we had this rule for parties of six or more. Until one week when Ms. Bipolar decided she desperately needed cash and wheedled the bartenders to add gratuity to every other table she had, using excuses like "They have friends coming" or "They're foreign, I don't think they'll tip me". Granted, part of the fault was on the bartenders, but you don't know the fury that Ms. Bipolar can marshal when she is opposed. She would then neglect to mention the gratuity to her tables, nor mark it on their checks, and thus recieved double tips from many of these tables. The owner caught wind of this, and decided to scratch the gratuity across the board.

This left me with an eleven-top and only my charm and good looks to go on to earn money. Which should have been fine, I'm a good server and the lack of auto-gratuity hasn't really affected me in the past. I took special care of this table, because they were occupying more than half my section. It was not just my urge to pay rent, but also I had enough time on my hands to take special care of my customers. I got their drink orders quickly. When they all started ordering at the same time, I smiled at said "One at a time, please" and made a joke about how I needed to grow an extra ear or three. I went back to confirm that I had their eleven-entree order correct. I sent the one kid's food out with the appetizers, knowing that kids get impatient quickly. In short, there wasn't anything I didn't do for this table. One of the older gentlemen even said I had "beautiful dark eyes" as I got him another house Chardonnay.

I should have taken this as a warning. My eyes are blue, not dark. I wear a lot of dark eye makeup, but they're still freegin' blue.

After all the plates had been cleared, they politely refused the offer of dessert. I brought their check, and they opted to give one person cash, while he put the whole thing on his credit card. As they left, one of them gave me encouraging words to help me through the busy weekend. I smiled, thinking that I couldn't possibly have gotten less than 18% on their $210 check.

I was wrong.

The tip line read $25, barely grazing 10%. But it gets worse. They'd done the math wrong, and so the total they wrote left me only $19. The Pub's policy is, officially, that we always have to go with the total the customer writes. So I made out with 9% of a table that took up three out of my five tables for almost two hours.

The Rage fucked my chi so badly I screwed up on another table order only minutes later. It took a long time for the Rage to subside, and in fact I feel it welling up in my gut once more.

I think I need a cigarette.

And you thought there wasn't enough food service blogging going on. Snerk.

2006-08-20T01:19:00.000-07:00

This is the weekend of the Concourse - during which loads of rich people come to Monterey to bid on cars, cars that represent more monentary wealth than I make in a year. Since Thursday, there hasn't been a single night wherein I did less than $1200 in sales. This means that I am simultaneously making money hand over fist and getting my ass kicked on a daily basis. With one more day to go, I am both rich (by my standards) and tired.

I can say as much for the entire staff. The poor kitchen guys were looking like death warmed over by the time midnight hit, and would have gladly taken knives to anyone's face if they requested the kitchen reopen for some rich asshat who just finished buying a Ferrari. Neither love nor money nor sexual favors would have wrung a single fish and chip out of that kitchen at 12:15 this evening. Besides, none of us dining-room servers had any energy to seat another table for dinner. There's Guiness at the bar, that's food enough for anybody.

So at the moment I am sitting in my chair, trying to drink just enough wine so I will sleep very deeply but still not have a hangover tomorrow. I am doing this because I had some of the worst work-nightmares in recorded history last night. Not just one, either. A multitude, a quantity consisting of many particulars. All of them involved zillions of people rushing in to get dinner just minues before the kitchen closed, and being generally unreasonable.

In one, I remember having all the tables closed, with chairs up, except for the few tables that still had accursed customers lingering on them. I left for the kitchen, returning only to find a huge fucking family with lots of irritating kids had taken it upon themselves to take the chairs down from the tables and fetch themselves place settings. I goggled, speechless, but they only stared back at me with cheerful grins on their faces. Apparently they were just waiting for me to get them menus. Explanations that the kitchen was closed just weren't getting through. They just sat there, staring happily at me, not moving, waiting for menus. And grinning the smiles of the damned.

I think it was about when the dreams turned to a couple leaving me a can of Lysol spray disinfectant instead of a tip that I woke up crying. I'm not kidding. 5 o'clock in the morning, and I woke up to myself sobbing like my Oblivion characters had just been deleted.

And to think, once I get up to Seattle, I'm probably going to be doing the same damn thing. Jubilations.

A Public Service Announcement

2006-08-19T02:09:00.000-07:00

There are many things about the service industry that are hard to understand if one has never worked in it. Before I ever worked in a bar, I know I would do things that irritate the staff without realizing it. I've found this to be the case with many customers, they are good natured enough but sometimes don't realize that they're being difficult or impairing my ability to do my job well. So, being the generous person that I am, I've compiled a list of things to do or avoid doing that should guarantee anyone fast, friendly service.

1. Tip well. This should really be obvious. Something that is less obvious, though, is that you should never make a big deal out of tipping well. If you recieved good service, thank the server, leave a nice tip, and that's it. Mentioning the amount of the tip, unless you know the server personally and are making a joke, is considered to be very rude.
2. Don't stand in the service station. There is a portion of the bar that is festooned with straws, condiments, spill mats, trays, etc. This is the service station, where the servers stand to pick up their drinks. You'd be suprised how many people don't realize why that spot at the bar is usually empty. I know I didn't at one point. Nonetheless, don't stand there.
3. Don't block the walkways. They're called walkways for a reason. Don't stand and hold court there. Walk. If there's a table, sit at it. If there aren't any seats, and standing in the walkway appears to be the only option, maybe you should look for somewhere more removed from the beaten path.
4. Make eye contact. If you appear absorbed in conversation, and have drinks in front of you, a busy server will assume you are doing fine and don't need assistance. However, any server worth their salt will see someone trying to catch their eye and move to help them, or let them know that they will be with them shortly. So, look up and make some eye contact.
5. Have a buddy system. It is not the establishment's responsibility to take care of your drunk friends. If your buddy's been cut off, don't slip him drinks behind the bartender's back. There's a reason he's cut off, which probably has something to do with the fact his eyes are glazed over and his vocabulary has been reduced to two words. If your friend is drunk, don't let him run wild in the bar. The staff will love you.
6. Don't linger. If last call has already happened, finish your drinks quickly. I'm not talking shotgun style here, but don't camp at your table once the bar closes. Keep in mind that the staff probably hasn't sat down in seven hours and would like to get the fuck home. Unless you're giving the bartender a ride home, skeedaddle.
7. Don't expect the server to laugh at your jokes. Sometimes we just don't have the energy. And sometimes we've heard it a bazillion times before. Lots of people think they're clever.
8. Your friends will be out shortly. If the bouncer tells you that you can't come back inside to look for "Jessica" or whoever, don't push it. Believe us, she'll be coming out in a bit. We promise.
9. Don't comment about the price of drinks. Guess what? The server had nothing to do with setting prices. Its called markup - get used to it or drink 40's of Steel Reserve at home. Don't even do it as a joke, you're just going to make your server uncomfortable.
10. Do the math yourself. If you really must have separate checks, assuming you're in a place that permits that, ask before you order anything. If you're knee-deep in your dessert, its too goddamn late. Sack up and figure it out your damn self.

debate club

2006-08-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

I love reading about Jack Thompson, mostly because he makes me angry. As interesting and paradoxical as that is, that was just a springboard for what is actually pissing me off at the moment.

People in general just don't know how to argue anymore. I don't watch debates on television much, because they're too infuriating, but I see enough to know that there's a severe lack of being able to hold a position logically in the world. It pisses me off when a person, instead of defending themselves with reasonable statements that can be backed up, they turn to X, Y, or Z psychological or statistical study that supports what they're saying. I bet you for every "study" done to prove one point, there's another one that opposes it. Which is part of the reason I don't try to debate with people anymore, it usually ends up sounding like this-

"I think your position is stupid, and here's why."
"Well, you're just stating your opinion."
"My opinion is that you're wrong. Are you even going to try to argue with me?"
"Well, according to this study, my opinion is right."
"Well, fucker, I just did a study that says you're a horse's ass."

Yeah. Conversations were fun at TAC, but out in the "real world" people are so much more intersted in hearing themselves talk than actually learning something. And if they're ever proved in the wrong, they're too personally offended to get some truth out of it. Half the time, they don't even admit they've been proved wrong. It is like the sense of wonder in humans has been replaced my a sense of entitlement. Irritating as hell.

2006-08-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

If I were an eighteen year old male, and I were writing a movie, these are a couple things that would happen.

1. Mila Jovovich would play the main character, and thus would have the most screentime.
2. Mila would wear very tight, low-slung pants and cool tailored jackets. She would also be wearing killer glasses for most of the film.
3. Her hair and outfits would change color at random. Kind of like customizing a game character after you beat a level.
4. In addition, Mila would be in possession of an endless supply of very stylish weapons, including lots of swords, which would have various fascinating methods of doing damage to her enemies.
5. These weapons would be summoned from thin air, so as to not clutter up her silhouette.
6. She would devastate armies of opponents because it would never come into their heads to, well, find some goddamn cover.
7. She would also be a vampire.

Seeing as this pretty neatly sums up Ultraviolet, I must be forced to assume that there is an eighteen-year-old male dimensional clone of myself out there that is writing movies.

And, don't judge me. I'm starting the ol' moon cycle, and dumb futuristic action movies with swords and pretty girls are my version of the chick flick most of the time. If it was dumb futuristic action movies with swords and Dante and Alucard and Abel Nightroad, that would be even better.

2006-08-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Only a day later, and I've already found a place to live. I'm going to sign a lease later today and give them some money, because I'm assuming they want stuff like that. Its actually a house with a separate studio that I'll be renting, which is cool because I hate huge apartment buildings. There's a back yard, too, with a fountain, which I'm sure Sparda will love. And the $700 rent covers all utilities, and cable internets. I didn't think I was going to get a better deal, so I jumped on it even though it was only the second place I looked at.

Speaking of which, this one is a stark contrast to the first place I looked at. First of all, it was a huge building, with an Office Max on the ground floor. Exciting. Also, it was right off the I-5, so a very trafficky area, but with no useful amenities in sight. Blech. Also, it was a remodeled hotel, so all the units lined the hallways like hotel rooms. And they were about that big. Seriously, this place looked like they'd turned the hotel-room mini-kitchen into a real kitchen and left it at that. The space was tiny, and there was a tiny little window with a view of an ugly courtyard. They wanted $695 a month for it, and the rent didn't include any utilites. And there was a $400 deposit, along with a $400 pet deposit, and parking was $100 a month. Screw that. The man showing the place to me was really nice, so I didn't have the heart to tell him that his place blew ass. But I did have to wonder, why would people actually pay that much for this place. I mean, it is going for a trendy/funky type feel, but its not that cute. And its a bad location, and there's an Office Max downstairs. Some people are just crazy.

2006-08-09T00:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be flying North to look for a place to live. This moving thing is creeping up on me quickly, but I think I have everything squared away. The only thing that bugs me is that, in my particular industry, companies don't consider hiring people a month before they can start working. This has caused a bit of consternation, but I'm pretty sure I have enough experience to find a job rather quickly. Knock on wood.

Actually, technically, I'm flying up there today, since my flight leaves at 7am. Which means I have to get up at, oh, four hours from now. ick. I'm trying to decide whether it would even be profitable to go to bed now, as my body is totally not ready for sleep.

And to completely change the subject, that whole knock on wood thing reminded me of a brief conversation I had with a customer about a week ago. I was cleaning a table off for these people, and I knock over the salt shaker in the process. Of course, a bunch of salt spilled all over the table.

"Now you have to throw some of that over your shoulder," one of the guys said.

"Oh, I don't believe in all that stuff," I replied, continuing my work. Then I thought about it.

"You know," I said, "Its a damn good thing I don't, because I spill this shit so much, I'd be cursed for life."

He laughed. Its true, though, I am constantly knocking over salt (and pepper) shakers when cleaning tables.

Momma, I'm goin' fast!

2006-08-05T00:59:00.000-07:00

Talledega Nights is a damn funny movie. I think I blew a gasket in my spleen from laughing so hard. Seriously, I'm gonna have to get it looked at. It is hard to find a truly funny comedy. Nacho Libre tried way too hard to be funny, which just made it over-the-top annoying. But this one... heh. You know it was good if you and your friends are still quoting it after the credits are rolling and laughing even harder than you were originally. Yes, go see this movie.

Big Red. If you don't chew it, then f*ck you!

That being said, one of the things I like to do when I'm bored is go on the Internet to find shit that makes me feel good about myself. So a couple nights ago I went onto fanfiction.net, which always does that for me. As many of my friends know, I did a spot of fanfic writing myself in high school. I'm not ashamed of this because eventually, before I graduated, I realized it was stupid and dorky. I still reread what I wrote and laugh at myself. But the point is, I stopped. Some of these people never did, and their ponderous prose and jerky character dialogue is up on the Internets for all to see. I try to stay away from the Spock/Kirk/McCoy slashfic, and the ludicrous porn masquerading as alien rituals, but some if it is really funny. Its kind of like watching a car wreck and pointing. I especially like the ones in which the author apparently took a big dose of the crack and thought "Wouldn't it be funny to see [cast of anime/movie/videogame] all working in the food court at a mall?" Really, its good shit.

This is a courtesy warning: geek rant to follow

2006-08-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

Like I may have mentioned before, I really do love Xenosaga Episode II. The zone break battle system is fun as hell, it has just the right blend of leisurely turn-based thinking and combo action that keeps you on your toes. I think the two games hold the spot of my favorite battle systems. Not the character developing part, though, I think that title still goes to Final Fantasy VIII and Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. But, I digress.

Another thing I love about the series - no random encounters, you can always see the enemy before you engage it. Which is good, because a lot of the battles are really hard. I like that in a game, fewer but more challenging battles that give more experience points. And I frikkin' hate random encounters. I'm just walking along, minding my own business, perhaps even whistling a happy tune. Then, BAM!, I get owned by a double strawberry flan fiend because I was weak from the last battle. There are very few things more frustrating. So, kudos to the seeing your enemies before you fight them. Definitely something I can get behind.

The final thing I will mention that I love about Xenosaga is the characters. All of them are very well-developed and all have their own motivations, tortured pasts, special talents, whatever. It is what makes me really love these games instead of just liking them a whole bunch. I think my favorites have to be chaos (he looks twelve, sure, but he probably has a couple centuries under his belt), Jr. (another man-boy, way older than he looks, and has a cure earring), and KOS-MOS (android babe. 'nuff said). The fact that the developers had time to write such an engaging story and still be able to make the game fun to play is very big in my mind.

But, my love is not blind. There are a couple things about Episode II that make me grind my teeth. Of course, there's the sidequests which I have mentioned. At the beginning you are invited to join the Global Samaritan Campaign, in which you can get cool prizes for helping random people with their problems. Sounds fun right? Well it would be, if all the little quests weren't the most inane, monotonous, crappy little irritants I have yet to come across in a game. Seriously, I never did the chocobo breeding quest, but I'd bet money this is worse. It is the pinnacle of the RPG stereotype of mindless grinding tasks. And your characters don't level while you're doing them, either, because most involve just running from one city to the other, and you can imagine how much fun that is. The worse part is, the majority of the quests don't rely on any kind of logic to solve them. Instead, the creators just thought that maybe it would be fun to talk to every fucking NPC in the game in order to find what you're looking for. I can just imagine the meeting where this diabolical scheme was hatched.

"Ok, so you guys are developing the minigame."
"Wait, we don't have time to do that. We're busy with the storyline and making the skill trees make sense."
"Fuck the skill trees. We need a minigame. Every RPG has a minigame."
"Alright," *sigh* "We'll think of something."
"Doesn't have to be complicated. Just hide some superpowerful items in there, and those nerds will do whatever you want. Put in some kittens. They eat that shit up over there in America. Idiots."

Yeah. Something like that. The other thing that is a serious impediment to our union is the voice acting. I'm not gonna lie, its horrible. It is so bad that I am having trouble enjoying the story. Some of the characters sound like me and my homeschool friends when we decided to put on plays in the back yard. You know, the kind where the phrase "restrained poignancy" has absolutly no meaning whatever? At this point, I would pay money for wooden acting. In fact, there are a couple characters whose voices I don't hate because they are, in fact, quite wooden.
I hate to be a language snob, but it would be really nice if it was all in Japanese. Only because at least if it was overly dramatic, at least I wouldn't be able to understand what they were saying.

Last complaint, I promise. The music is annoying. Whoever decided that synthesizers were okay again needs to be skullfucked to death. That really sums up my opinion in that area.

And that is the story of my bittersweet, often painful, love affair with Xenosaga II.

2006-08-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Xenosaga II,

I’m not saying we should break up. I want this relationship to work. But why do you make it so hard for me to love you?

Why do you hide your luscious Double Tech Attacks behind such monotonous and stupid minigames? Why are your sidequests so inane and frustrating?

Honey, I love your battle system, it makes our time together so enchanting. But then you turn around and force me into hours of talking to random people to gain access to your secret places. Finding an ancient performers ballet shoes? Fixing holes in the water main? This crap just kills the magic, darlin’, kills it until its dead. It makes me think you’re trying to drive me away, and that hurts. Right there in the heart place.

I don’t drag you out underwear shopping with me. So why do you make the time I take out of my busy schedule to spend with you seem like work? It has to stop. I mean, there are other games out there. I could totally move on. But you know I won’t. Why must you abuse me this way?

Love, nomikkh

grr... argh.

2006-08-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

In the world of renting, things are not done in advance. People want to get their studios or their houseshares off the market now. Though I accept this in theory, that doesn't mean I have to like it.

I am a person who likes to know in advance. As far in advance as possible. I call video stores to insure they have a movie I want, even if its been out for years and the chances of it being rented are next to nothing. I like to make appointments. Doesn't work that way with house-hunting. If you're not in town, right now, ready to look at a place, no one's interested. Frustrating.