Two things are on the old brain today as being idiotic and annoying, and since I prefer to speak of my own personal problems first I'll start with the story about how I came across what had to be the world's most ineffectual traffic cop. There's a lot of construction near the stadiums right now, mostly because Seattle has finally realized that we're a biggish city now and not a commune full of unwashed, sock-and-sandal wearing REI zombies. And as such we need more transit than a woefully forlorn bus system, so they're putting in a light rail system. So far the only place it goes is the airport. That being said, a lot of random streets are getting closed near there, which has been a source of frustration for me. However, usually the road closures are clearly marked with roadblocks, cones, blinking lights, etc.
Anyhow, driving home last night I started down a road that I had taken just that morning to get to the freeway. Somewhere in that time, I guess they closed the road. Because when I tried to take it, I was stopped by a previously invisible traffic cop dragging a "Street Closed" sign off the sidewalk she'd left it on and with a seriously irate expression. First of all, yeah I admit I didn't see the sign. That was my bad. But it
was practically on the sidewalk, in my own defense, and the lane I was aiming for was completely open. There were no cones, no flags, not even one of those hazard lights they normally attach to those signs. The sign itself wasn't even in a position it could be readily seen, such as
in the fucking street its supposed to be blocking. Did the city cone budget fall through or something? Or did she actually think she was doing an adequate job of warning people of a street closure? So there I was, trying to figure out what to do from there. I could A) try to go around her and turn around in the nearby parking lot or B) back into the intersection to turn around. They both were inadvisable, but I opted for the latter since the streets were relatively deserted. The whole thirty seconds or so I was trying to decide this, of course she's yelling at me to move, I'm yelling back that I'm working on it, but there was no way I was opening the window so neither of us could hear each other. Ended up I turned around, almost got lost in the International District, and had to take the long way home. Believe me, I don't like driving on the best of days, so I was livid. I had to admit to myself that I didn't see the sign, but even with some sleep and thought between myself and the Rage I will still maintain that closing a street without proper signage and whatnot to warn motorists about it is a hazard, and a stupid one. Well, there's that. Onward and upward.
So I guess M. Night Shyamalan is directing the movie version of
Avatar: The Last Airbender. I've always meant to check that series out, since people whom I respect have told me its good. But now I'm fervently thankful it doesn't hold a special place in my heart because now I don't have to collapse in a fit of sorrow. I loved
The Sixth Sense, which made it that much more bitter to watch my faith in Shymalan die a slow and terrible death. Lets watch the cancer spread, shall we?
First you had
Unbreakable, an ok film. Not as good as his previous work, but not bad. Oh look, there's a twist at the end. That's nothing new - hmmm, I wonder if that's all he does?
Then there was
Signs. Also not terrible, but lurking somewhere between passable and a waste of time. The "twist" at the end left a bad taste in my mouth and I wondered if they were going to get even more silly from there.
And along comes
The Village, a pile of fetid horribleness so bad I nearly went to the counter to demand my money back. Right about the middle of the movie, I thought to myself that it would really suck if there were no real monsters all along, but somebody was making everyone think there was for some reason. I didn't guess the entire reason behind it, but I was close. My faith was broken at that point.
The Lady in the Water did nothing to change that. The trailers alone looked fucking terrible, and there was no way I was going to feed this man's vanity any more.
Most recently, we have
The Happening, where there seemed to be a glimmer of hope. It looked scary - maybe he was trying to recapture the creepiness of his first and only brilliant film? It beckoned to me like Lucy's football to Charlie Brown. I sort of knew what was going to happen, but what if this was the magical moment where his foot would connect with the football of movie greatness? (Holy Mixed Metaphor, Batman! I couldn't help myself.) But then a friend of mine played the sacrificial lamb in this instance and reported to me that all hope was lost, it was just as bad as we feared. And so now whenever I see ole' Shammy's name attached to anything I cringe and move on.
So, even though the trailer for
The Last Airbender looks pretty cool, and I've wanted to get into the series for a while, I'm going to stay the hell away from the live action version. I've read some of the fan conversation, and there seems to be some rage going on about all the actors cast being white. Granted, I've only seen about half of one episode, but they all look white to me. But that weird kind of Caucasian that comes from long years of Western animators trying to capture the magic of anime in their drawing. I just want to take them aside and remind them all they're missing the bigger picture. It says his frikkin' NAME right above the movie title. He will take this thing you love and
mutilate it. I wouldn't be surprised if we suddenly find out at the end that Prince Zuko was secretly working with the Crab People the whole time.
